


Hey, Tommy

by iguer



Category: The Maze Runner (Movies), The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Book cannon, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:20:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27093433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iguer/pseuds/iguer
Summary: Newt is suffering in the Glade, he’s overwhelmed with everything that they are put through and being in the dark about it all is unbearable. He feels like he won’t be able to cope with any of it anymore, and even tries to end it all. But all changes when Thomas arrives. He feels drawn toward that Greenie for some reason.Thomas will make him feel stronger; together they will find a way out of the Maze, through the Scorch and toward a Cure.A/N: I’ll stick with the cannon (mostly book cannon all along the most of the trilogy, but following the cure arc of the movie), making time jumps to moments along the trilogy adding the romance between the two. So I’ll change the cannon on those scenes, obviously, and at the end so it’ll be a happy ending! :D
Relationships: Newt & Thomas (Maze Runner), Newt/Thomas (Maze Runner)
Comments: 15
Kudos: 67





	1. Maze Trials - in the Glade

Life after the Box was complicated. It had its good moments – like the fire nights, those Saturday nights when they wrestled, drank, chatted and laughed together. Of course there was no way of knowing which day was which outside of the Maze, but they all could remember the way life (and the calendar, for that matter) worked before and it was a consensus between the thirty or so first gladers that it would be fit for they to go on living accordingly. The topic had only been brought up a couple days after their mysterious awakening on the Glade, so even though they’d agreed on it, it was still a bit sketchy and mostly they preferred to go on with numbers. It was on the seventh night, when they lit the fire in the courtyard near the Box that Newt spoke up. They were, as usual, talking theories about how and why and by whom they had been sent there and, even though they were trying to hide it, that talk was making them nervous, mainly after a week with zero changes, what only indicated that that was their new life for good.

“I don’t remember a bloody thing about my life before this,” Newt said, raising his voice just enough so everyone would pay attention to him, but not being rude, “but I remember some story about a guy that after some days of rough work took the seventh to rest. Why don’t y’all just don’t do about the same? We’ve worked our minds for seven days already tryna figure something about all this. Let’s give it a break. Tomorrow we can resume the hard thinking and theories.” Alby was the first to show his agreement to that, which led the others to follow suit eventually and the nervousness in the air diminished, even if just slightly.

And so they lived on. The few arguments and fights that broke occasionally were clearly more driven by the general uneasiness and nervousness that they were all feeling than by any real disagreement between the Gladers, and when those happened, Newt always had a way of talking sense into the others and settling whatever was the matter. It was no surprise when the group started to look up to Newt as a leader. The other boy that was seen as a leader was Alby, and since Newt never liked being in that position, he gladly directed the attention to Alby and agreed to be his second-in-command. The friendship that grew between the two was inevitable; soon after that they were like brothers. That was another good thing about life in the Glade – the bonds grew ever stronger.

The worst part of life after the Box, for Newt, was the guilt for being so unhappy with his life then when things seemed so nice to everyone else.

*

It happened when they were living in the Glade for more than one year. Newt’s gloom had been constant since the beginning, but amidst running in the maze every day, being a leader figure for this ever growing group of kids – which proved to be a surprisingly tiresome task – and all the other chores they had to do on a daily basis, he just managed to keep his head clear of those thoughts.

Also Alby. His best friend always managed to make things better, to make him laugh, to make Newt feel like a burden he’d been carrying on his shoulders suddenly got lighter. Alby was always there for him, and that was also one of the things that kept him from giving the idea much thought.

But the one year mark somehow hit him a little too hard. Being in that place for one whole year hit him hard and undid a lot of the psychological and emotional progress he’d made. One whole year. No answers, no theories starting to make more sense and seem more plausible, no changes – well, the only change they saw happening was the surprise they received of a new glader being brought by the Box, but quickly that became usual and soon they were used to receiving a Greenie every month. Other than that, the only real information they had about the whole thing came from the fact that every week the Box brought supplies – that meant they hadn’t been abandoned there, whoever put them there was watching them, which only made it all the worse. Who were the Creators? Why were they doing that to them? What had they done to deserve that? What had he done to deserve that?

He felt alone. Even though he was well liked by everyone and had Alby. But since they hit the one year mark things became tougher, heavier, he didn’t know if he’d be able to cope much longer. Then he decided that he didn’t anymore.

One day, while running in section 2, he got to a place where he knew the vines were firm in place, climbed on them and pressing his eyes shut, took a deep breath in and let go.

Minho found him. And only by chance. Alby had told Newt and Minho that that day he was supposed to do a quick running around in his section and be back earlier than usual to help him with something – as he was dragged half-conscious by Minho he already couldn’t remember what it was. Since it was still early, they agreed on breaking the rules and go after him.

It was a lot of chance that he’d been stupid to forget about the exceptional plans for the day, that there was a runner available at the Glade to accompany Alby in the search for him.

And that he hadn’t climbed higher.

Newt still wasn’t sure if that was a stroke of luck or lack of it.


	2. Maze Trials - in the Glade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas's arrival; Newt and Thomas talking for the first time; Newt and Thomas becoming closer;

Minho had given him a second chance in a way. He rescued Newt in time for the Med-jacks to treat him and prevent greater consequences than the limp he’d grow used to. Thanks to him, Newt didn’t have bigger complications that made his life more difficult, he could’ve easily been rented handicapped after that incident, but didn’t because his friend saved him. But Minho also gave him a second chance by what he did after, or didn’t do, actually. Only half of the realization of the implications of having been rescued in time had come to Newt amidst all the other things that were in his mind, but was enough to join in the sob that started on him. Being dragged by Minho back to the Glade he sobbed and only thought a “Thank you” because he couldn’t speak one.

“It’s alright,” said Minho as they approached the Door, as if he’d heard Newt’s thought thanking. When they were only few yards from the Door, Minho came to a halt and said, “Hey, it’s alright, I won’t tell anyone what happened, okay? Okay?” Newt nodded, tears still rolling down his face. “We’ll think of some story, don’t worry, no one’ll ask many questions.” That last statement Minho’s way to say that HE wouldn’t let anyone get too nosey.

*

Newt regretted his act, and felt ashamed of it, but he did understand himself and his own motives for doing what he did, or rather tried to do. But he decided he was lucky he failed, he no longer would try anything like that, which made him all the more grateful to Minho.

He’d make sure to say that to Minho some time, he decided one day sitting on the tree house. It wasn’t much of a tree house, of course, since it had only the floor, but it had enough resemblance to be called so. He liked it there, very much.

Newt had always thought that spot to be a good one, the kind of place he liked to be because it made him fell slightly less controlled; like being some feet higher made him just that little less blind as to where he was. But every time he went there he felt all the more alone. That place just called for someone, he felt almost a sort of longing for someone he didn’t even know who; he just knew – felt – that he’d be enjoying it all the more if he had someone there with him, that could understand him and understand the place like he did.

Alby was his buddy, his best friend, and he knew he could always count on him for whatever, but he just didn’t get those sort of things. He was way too practical about everything and seemed not to see or care about these more… sensitive – emotional? – things.

*

Another Box Day, as the Gladers called it, the day of the month in which the Box came up bringing another Greenie.

That was the closest thing to a distraction in the Glade, the only day in which something different happened. Still it wasn’t much, it became actually tiring having to go through the same thing over and over month after month. It’d be better if they left them be in their miserable life, had their only punishment be the life in the place itself without having the additional task of hearing the whimpering of a new arrival every month and having to teach him everything about life in the Glade.

Newt got to the Box, picturing a child. He didn’t know why, but he had the intuition that that time it’d be a younger boy, maybe Chuck’s age. How he was wrong.

That’s a handsome… – he tried to interrupt the though before the last word got completed, but failed – shank. He added. It was still strange to use that slang sometimes, many times it came naturally, but not always, and in that moment it felt forced. Well, of course it had been forced. Okay, he’s handsome. Whatever. Newt reluctantly admitted to himself.

*

That night they lit the fire in the courtyard by the Box. When a new Greenie was to arrive, instead of doing it in the seventh day of the week, they waited one more day to do it the next day so that the new Greenie would already be there and have a welcome ceremony of sorts.

The new Greenie – Thomas, Newt remembered was his name – wasn’t exactly mixing much with the crowd. Of course, no one was paying much attention to him, so what could he do. Newt had only seen Chuck talk to Thomas and already pitied the guy. So he pretended he had something to talk with him about, some orientation and etc., and told Chuck to go ask Frypan if he needed help with anything.

When Newt told Thomas the real reason why he stole him while they settled in a corner leaning against the roots of a big tree, Thomas scowled and said, rather bitterly, “Well, that’s the first nice thing anyone’s done for me in here.” Then he softened his face and let out a nervous laughter. “Hey, I’m sorry, that was actually very nice of you, sorry I snapped.”

“It’s okay,” answered Newt. “I know how stressful it is to be the Newbie.” Of course Newt could only imagine, since he’d never been in that position, he’d arrived in the Glade with a large group, what made it much easier to cope. That made him think that that Boy was really tough, he had to deal with a worse scenario than Newt had. After a moment’s silence, “It gets better,” Newt said. That felt like a half lie, but not entirely.

On they talked, this Thomas boy was actually pretty easy going and conversation with him flowed nicely.  
“The maze is a dangerous place,” said Newt one moment, with memories way too vivid of the grey and green walls of the Maze. He almost felt the urge to tell Thomas the whole story. What was it with this Newbie that made Newt feel like he could trust him so openly?

*

It was the end of Thomas’s first week in the Glade and they met in the tree house. It was already a kind of stablished habit between Newt and Thomas to go to the tree house every once in a while to clear the head.

The morning after Thomas arrived in the Box, Newt went up the wooden structure to – for the first time – be surprised by the sight that it was occupied. Most of the Gladers didn’t like going up there, the idea of the highest point in the Glade still not being enough to provide any help as to where they were, how to get out, or what lay beyond made them even more depressed and frustrated. Not Newt, though. And not Thomas. They met there almost every day after that first encountering.

And today was no different. It was still early morning when Newt went up the wooden steps to find Thomas sitting in the back of the platform, leaning against the tree trunk, looking at apparently nowhere. He turned at the sound of Newt’s steps. Newt was about to say “Hey, Greenie,” but at the last moment stopped. It just didn’t seem very nice to keep on with this “Greenie” treatment right now. Of course it wasn’t an insult or anything. But still… it only served the purpose of remembering the newcomers that that’s what they were – new. As if the person in that situation could forget that for only a second. Also, they were already friends, sometimes Newt hated to admit to himself that he wasn’t very comfortable throwing these unpleasantries around but felt like he it was important for him to do so in order to maintain his leadership role. No, he decided he’d spare this new boy that discomfort right then, he could call him Greenie, or Newbie, or Shank even plenty other times, when they went back down, but not just now. 

“Hey, Tommy.”

“Hey”

“Awake so early,” said Newt. Thomas shrugged.

Their connection had been instantaneous since they had first met, so by this time, one week later, they were already easy to engage in conversation with each other. Newt sat by Thomas’s side and they spent many minutes talking about various subjects, staying silent at times, but not the awkward kind of silence, just enjoying the moment.

Eventually the conversation turned to the very first point of their meeting, which was the fact that they were awake pretty early in the morning.

“Can’t sleep much, can you?” Newt asked.

“Um, yeah, not having much problem anymore with that, I guess I’m getting used to the idea. But yeah, kinda…” They said nothing for some moments. “And” Thomas added like he just remembered one more argument to his response, “I wanted to be early in the tasks and all, got plenty of work to do…”

“Awn, he’s such a good boy!” Newt said in a mocked motherly tone. “All worried with doing his tasks well!” He laughed.

“Yes, I am!” Thomas answered in an equally mocking tone. “Want to make my Mum and Dad proud,” he added and unexpectedly reached and kissed Newt on the cheek. Newt was a bit startled by this but hid his surprise. He didn’t want Thomas to think he didn’t like it.

That’s what was so special about this new boy. You could see he was tough, he got out of the Box already showering everyone with questions, almost making the Gladers feel like he was the one that knew how things worked and we were the ones just learning about them, he was curious and persistent. But when you got to know him he revealed himself to be such a sweet, funny guy. The air felt lighter with him around.

And even if Newt tried, he’d not be able to deny that the kiss stirred something in him. That unexpected, although welcome, show of affection felt nice. And Newt kind of wanted more of it.

“Such a good boy, such a good boy. Come here, son,” Newt said and now he reached for a kiss on Thomas’s cheek, but apparently his sudden movement startled Thomas like Thomas’s had him, and Thomas wasn’t so discreet about it, he turned to look at Newt at the moment and Newt’s kiss on the cheek landed on the corner of the lips.

For the first time, the silence between them was an awkward one.

“Oh, sorry, man,” said Newt.

But the awkwardness was quickly pushed away by Thomas as he said with an amused grin is his face, “Oh, don’t worry, I don’t blame you for been nervous around me, it’s just that I’m so staggeringly charming, it’s actually impossible for you not to.”

They both laughed heartily at that.

“Oh, right!” said Newt. “Of course you are. Now that’s a shank with a bit of self-steem.”

“You don’t need to be ashamed of it, it’s okay, I just do that to people. No need to be ashamed of not having the courage to kiss me and have all this.” He prolonged the last word while signaling to his whole body.

“Oh, right. More like you wouldn’t have the courage to kiss me.” Newt retorted.

“Oh, wouldn’t I?” Thomas asked reaching his hand through underneath Newt’s hair and holding the back of his neck. Newt froze. That… tingled. If with the kiss on the cheek, something stirred inside Newt, now with that, many somethings ran inside Newt, ran up and about. Newt realized he was looking at Thomas’s lips… he quickly returned his gaze to Thomas’s eyes and hoped he hadn’t noticed anything.

“Um, nah. No, you wouldn’t.” He managed to say. “Shank.” He added at last, even though this last word got out without any trace of conviction.

“Oh really?” Thomas said inching his face closer to Newt’s.

Newt wasn’t certain if Thomas was serious about that, he didn’t know how he should react. He decided Thomas was just messing around and would drop it at last.

Newt breathed out a small laughter. “Dude, you’re just–” The last word was cut short, and the last words never came to be, because Thomas had then moved forward and was kissing Newt. It was a simple kiss, without tongue. That type of kiss in which you just lock lips together and breath in, like you’re wishing to absorb the other person, wishing to take them to you. And that was it; if the kiss on the cheek stirred something and the hold on the back of the nape tingled, what did this do? Newt was dumbfounded, not even him knew what did that do.

Then they broke the kiss. Thomas was laughing soundly. “Dude, you’re craze,” he said.

You are, Newt wanted to say, but was still a bit dumbfounded. He managed to laugh to seem casual. “You are!” He said finally.

“Let’s go, it’s already time for the Wake Up.” Said Thomas. “But I don’t need to tell you this, do I? You’re the leader here.” And then he started for the stairs, not without looking back to check if Newt was coming too.

*

“So that Thomas kid,” said Newt inconclusively the next day when he and Alby were cleaning the Homestead, sweeping the ground floor. Being in the leadership had its advantages and disadvantages. An advantage was that every once in a while you’d have a little more free time than the rest, like they were having right now; a disadvantage was that mostly those free times were used to do chores like sweeping the Homestead, since they were the only ones with free. They had each a broom, Newt had commented vaguely that it’d be faster if they went together on each lever, the truth was that he wanted to take profit of that they were alone to talk to Alby, what wouldn’t be possible if they were in different floors. He was trying to find a way to turn the conversation towards Thomas, still deciding if he’d tell Alby what happened in the tree house.

“What about him?” asked Alby.

“I don’t know, you tell me. How is he adapting? He being any trouble or anything?”

“Nah, man, it’s all cool.”

“And about the girl? Did he remember anything?”

“Nope, he said she wasn’t familiar at all.”

“And do you believe him?”

“I don’t know. Yes, I guess. I think the worst-case scenario is that he finds her familiar, but is afraid to admit, Gally’s made sure to get his point across that Thomas is suspicious. Wouldn’t surprise me if that’s what happened. It really doesn’t matter, even I sometimes think she’s familiar. I’m sure we met each other before coming here.”

“Do you really?” asked Newt.

“Yeah, why?”

“Nothing, that just hadn’t occurred to me.”

Again the conversation drifted away from Thomas. What would Newt even say anyway? Tell him they kissed? But they hadn’t really… had they? I mean, it was just jokingly. Newt thought to himself. I wouldn’t be able to explain to Alby what it was like, he’d misunderstand. Also, what do I really want to tell him, anyway? I’m not in love or anything. Thomas is just a cool guy.


	3. Scorch Trials - in Dorm after Rescue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Newt thinks about what he feels for Thomas;  
> Newt talks to Minho about that;  
> Minho talks to Thomas about Newt.

You idealizing things. Newt told himself lying in bed that night, after talking with Alby about Thomas. Or trying to, anyway. You can’t let that happen. That was nothing more to their friendship; it was only this – a friendship. 

And it was good, too. Newt and Thomas grew ever closer day after day, spent more time and more frequently together in the tree house. Friendship would do for Newt.

*

Then his feelings, whatever they were, had to be put on hold. Everything started to happen. The discovery of the Griever Hole, Doors not closing, Griever visiting every night, taking one by one. The flight from the Maze. Newt’s best friend’s sacrifice.

It was all too much, he couldn’t cope with everything at once, so he tried to focus on the immediate next thing, step by step, thing by thing.  
Only when they arrived at the safety of that place where their rescuers had taken them, did Newt allow all of those questions come back to him. And now he had some thinking and sorting out to do.

*

“Hey, Minho?” Newt called hesitantly, still unsure that he would tell Minho what he was going to tell Minho. Newt was sitting at one of the tables in the cafeteria, no one else was there, the boys were all too occupied taking a shower for the first time in a lifetime and getting cozy in a nice bed. Newt was gonna be one of them soon, he just needed some time. He called Minho when he saw him by the dorm room door.

“Oh, hey, wassup?”

“Can I talk to you for a bit?”

“Sure, dude, what is it?” asked Minho puzzled. “Not another weird thing, please? Can’t we have just a moment of peace?”

“No, it’s nothing like that. I just wanted to talk to you… about… me, actually.” This was not going well, how would he put this into words? Oh, god.

When Minho sat by his side and asked, “What about you?” Newt decided to just put it out at once, so he wouldn’t have to (and wouldn’t have time to) organized it in a nice way.

“I think I’m really into…” Thomas, he was gonna say, but chickened out in the last second. “Someone.” He finished.

“What? Who?”

“Doesn’t matter. And I feel bloody pathetic, I don’t know what to do. He doesn’t even like me back, I’m sure.”

“So it’s not Teresa, huh, thank god you haven’t lost your senses.” Minho said with a laugh.

“Why do you hate her so much?” Newt asked.

“I don’t hate her, it’s just, I don’t know, we didn’t have much time to become acquaintances, either, did we? So, anyway.”

“Yeah, anyway. I’m into this person and I don’t know how to deal with it. Oh god, I definitely AM bloody pathetic.”

“Tell me something about him and I’ll guess, I know every loving Glader so well…” Minho said with a grin. It was an obvious joke since Minho most of the time had zero patience for people. He was never the guy to be amidst the crowd, normally he’d just keep to himself.

Newt laughed, too. That was the moment, he had to once again spit it out already before he chickened out. “Well, jokes on you, you haven’t had much time to get acquainted with him, either.”

That took Minho a couple of second to process, then he said, “Really? Thomas?”

“Why that reaction?” Newt was dying of embarrassment.

“Nothing. He’s actually a really nice guy.”

Newt was blushing slightly when he said, “Yeah, he is.”

*

“Hey, you shank,” Minho called approaching Thomas, who half sitting half lying in bed, seemingly in that state when you put yourself to go to sleep but just can’t.  
“Oh, hey, Minho” said Thomas absently.

Minho took a quick glance around to check if there was anybody in earshot, there wasn’t. “Um, can I talk to you real quick about something?”

That took Thomas a bit out of his stupor. “Um yes, sure, what is it?”

“It’s about Newt…” Thomas seemed to swallow a lump at that. “I know you’re under a lot of stress right now, man, we all are. I know you’re worried sick about Teresa and all that. But it’s just…”

“What? What is it?” Thomas was getting worried.

“It’s just that I think Newt might be feeling bad about that and I think it’s better if we clear these silly… smaller things already. We’ll need focus on whatever task we have coming and all.”

“Dude, you’re scaring me, what is it? Is Newt alright?”

“Yeah, yeah. He is, it’s all good. It’s just that, like, you two…” Minho trailed off struggling to find the words while Thomas struggled with another lump in his throat, where was this going? “What are you two, anyway? Like, what are you two been up to? I don’t want to meddle and I know this is nothing of my business, but Newt is my friend, for very long, and I don’t want anyone messing with him or hurting him, you know?”

Thomas was very confused. His thoughts were between “What is Minho talking about?” and “Could he possibly be talking about that?” which was followed by “How can he be talking about that? How does he know? Did Newt say something? How does Newt know?”

“Wha…” Thomas started. “What?”

“It’s clear that you two got very close very fast, you care about him, I can tell, he cares about you, too. I just don’t want you to mess with his head of anything. I don’t know, dude, I don’t even know where I’m headed with this.”

Messing with his head? What does he mean? Thomas thought? Oh, my god… could it be?

“Fuck, man, I’m a total douchebag, aren’t I?” said Thomas.

“What?” asked Minho.

“Oh, man, I’m such an idiot, I shouldn’t’ve done that. I knew it’d been a dick move.”

“Dude, what’re you talking about?” asked Minho.

“I kissed him!” Thomas blurted out. “I kissed him, Minho. It was my first week in the Glade, it was kind of a joke. At least, I tried to make it seem like one, just to see how he’d react, and he didn’t react very well. So then I knew. He didn’t want anything with me more than just to be friends. Oh god, I shouldn’t’ve done that. I should’ve waited, or just asked.” Thomas said. “I’m a total douchebag.” He repeated in conclusion.

At first, Minho didn’t know what to make of that. Then, he laughed internally. This shank has a crush back on Newt? Minho thought amused with the situation. In the few seconds he had to reflect on what to say next without letting his mind drift off too much and end up revealing something by accident, he decided it wasn’t his place to tell Thomas what Newt felt for him. He shouldn’t tell on Newt. He would for sure tell on Thomas and give Newt the heads up. But he was one of the three people this whole group of shanks looked up to as leaders, and two of them were so desperately tired, that it was up to Minho to play the Leader and organize everything. Make sure everyone was settled in a bed and well and whole, etc.

Thomas was already relaxed again on the bed and this time sleep had come to him, so he was already drifting off not even bothering to dismiss Minho. Newt had stayed sat there at the table in the cafeteria and by now – Minho was sure – he’d already be asleep with his head on his hands. Minho would go and get him to a bed once he made sure the roof wouldn’t fall in this room first.


	4. Scorch Trials - in the Scorch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas asks Harriet and Sonya for advice;  
> Thomas and Newt talk and open up.

As it turned out, Minho never told Newt about his discovery. What with all the worries they had, no one had much time to think about that. So Newt didn’t give the topic much thought and when it did come up in his mind he pushed it aside, already conformed that Thomas and he were only friends, and he was fine with that, really.  
Thomas wasn’t dealing with that that well, though. In the few moments in which he had time to stop worrying about WICKED and think about that the attempts to push the topic aside were not out of conformity, but out of anguish. That subject had already been eating his brain in a way that even the Flare could not; after the talk with Minho it got worse. If Minho went to talk to him, it was probably because Newt had talked to Minho about it, so Newt was already trying to find a way of reaching out to Thomas to make sure things were clear. And Thomas knew how Newt was with conflicts – always trying to avoid them, that would explain why he had sent Minho.  
That was why when, in the first night in the Scorch, they were all getting set to sleep, Thomas thought at least a thousand times before deciding to go to where Newt was.  
“Hey, Tommy,” said Newt when Thomas approached, sitting by Newt’s side. They were relatively apart from the rest of the group, and the closest two people seemed too focused on preparing their spot to sleep as soon as possible.  
“Hey.”  
“Rough start, huh,” said Newt.  
“Uff, tell me about it.”  
“But you’re doing great.”  
“What?” asked Thomas, a little startled by the comment.  
“What?” asked Newt casually, Thomas looked at him and saw that he was looking distractedly around the makeshift camp.  
“What do you mean I’m doing great?”  
“You never give up, you’re always with a determined attitude, determined to go through things, no matter how fucked up. That helps incredibly, raises the group morale and all. People cling to that determination, makes them feel hopeful.”  
“Wow…” started Thomas, “I didn’t know… I did that. Nor…” he hesitated for a moment, and then decided to continue, “that you took so much noticed of me.”  
“Of course I do,” said Newt still casual. “I’m the Glue, after all, aren’t I? Gotta keep track of the shanks I’m… gluing,” he finished that last sentence with a chortle while passed a hand around Thomas’s back and pressed him against himself a little.  
Thomas was relieved to see that he was acting totally normal, nothing weird between them. That was the thing with Newt, he was always firm and steady, like a rock that gave balance to the group. His role of being “the Glue” was really well suited.  
That reflection gave Thomas a little incentive. But he was still unsure. Should he talk about it? Should he address that subject that was gnawing in his brain? He pondered at those questions while looking sideways at his friend, who was ever distracted, but no longer looking at their camp, but looking to the horizon far ahead.  
“What’re you bloody staring me for? Nor gonna kiss me again, are you?” said Newt smiling with the side of his mouth. If Thomas was drinking something, he’d have spat it all over Newt, or rather choked since that was what seemed to have happened even if he wasn’t eating or drinking anything. He’d probably do both at the same time.  
Thomas looked to the horizon ahead, too, trying to act casual to hide his complete embarrassment. A casual laugh was all he could manage to put out.  
He definitely couldn’t do it. He could never bring that subject up. He wouldn’t even know how to phrase it, even if he wasn’t dying with shame.

*  
That was the last opportunity he’d have in a long. The following days were total craziness. So he only got to think again about Newt when, in the final couple of days of their deadline to complete their mission, they were once again in the plain of the Scorch, this time on the opposite side of the Crank City and accompanied by Group B.  
“Hey, can I talk to you guys for a second?” Thomas asked Harriet and Sonya, approaching them, who were chatting casually while walking in the back of the group.  
“Sure,” said Harriet, they both had looks of not knowing what that could possibly be about.  
Aris, who was close, saw the interaction and came close.  
“Hey, there,” Aris said. “Hey, Thomas.”  
Thomas had to restrain himself not to tell Aris to fuck off.  
Everything ok? Aris asked in his head.  
“Don’t–” Thomas begin, but stopped himself. Don’t speak in my head. Thomas said to Aris. “Hey,” he said coldly.  
“So… what’s–” Aris began, but was interrupted by Thomas.  
“I don’t want to talk to you right now.” Thomas was feeling angry at Aris for what he had done to him in the mountains. He understood the circumstances and had no reason not to believe that Aris and Teresa had been obligated to do what they did, but still it hurt, and it was very fresh. “I need some time. I’m sorry. I need time. I know WICKED forced you to do that, but I’ll need some time to sort everything out.”  
I’m sorry. Thomas said curtly in Aris’s mind.  
It’s fine. Aris said, and walked away.  
Thomas paused for a moment before turning back to Harried and Sonya.  
“Oh, god, I can’t believe I’m about to ask for advice for stranger who just now had kidnapped me,” that resulted in two pairs of raised eyebrows at him, “but ok, here it goes: you seem like you’d know about that… that… flirting thing,” he finished looking to the ground. Harried let out a nervous laugh.  
“Oh, my god, that’s what you’re asking us advice about?” she said.  
“Yes, are you gonna help me or not?”  
“Okay, okay, what’s the matter?”  
“I’m sorry, I’m just really nervous. It’s just that I can’t manage to talk to any of my friends, I’d just die of embarrassment and… shame. I don’t know. And you seem… nice. You’re ok, I guess.”  
“Well, thank you,” said Sonya. “Very kind of you. Okay, we’ll help, tell us what it is.”  
Thomas proceeded to explain to them what was happening, lowering his voice so much it became a whisper at moments.  
“I think I’m… I am really into someone. But that person… but he doesn’t feel the same. I wanted to tell him, just to, you know, put it out. But I don’t know if I can, or if I should. What if it makes things weird between us?” He paused to see if they were going to make any comment, they were thinking. “I think he knows,” Thomas added, “I’m sure he knows. Minho came talk to me about it, I’m sure he asked Minho to talk to me. So should I tell him, or pretend nothing happened?”  
“You should,” said Sonya.  
“Yeah,” agreed Harriet.  
“It’s always good to put it out, like you said yourself.”  
“And why are you so sure he doesn’t feel the same?”  
“Of course he doesn’t,” said Thomas almost defensively.  
“Maybe you’ll be surprised,” Harriet suggested.  
“Yeah, you should tell him,” concluded Sonya. “Even if he really doesn’t feel the same, it’ll be good to be open about it. And it’ll only be weird if you make it weird.”  
Thomas thought about it for a moment.  
“Gosh, I feel shucking pathetic,” he concluded. “Thinking about these things in the middle of all the problems we already have.”  
The girls laughed.  
“Maybe a little,” said Harriet.  
“But who isn’t, really?” offered Sonya. Harriet shrugged in accordance to that.  
“Yeah… who isn’t,” Thomas muttered to himself. “Well, thanks, I guess,” he said to them.  
“No problem,” answered Sonya.

*

Hours later, when night had fallen and they were preparing to sleep, once again Newt was in a spot a little apart from the rest. He really liked his distance from the crowd. That was what scared Thomas the most, that Newt would prefer to stay alone and that Thomas would be just part of the crowd from which Newt wanted to keep his distance. Thomas went to him nevertheless. He was lying this time, set for bed.  
“Mind if I sleep here, too?” Thomas asked.  
“Course not.”  
Thomas arranged his things and lied next to Newt. They were both looking up at the starry sky.  
“Hew, Newt?” Thomas called.  
“Hm?” Newt answered. Thomas was quiet. “What is it, Tommy?” Newt said, turning to the side to look at Thomas. Thomas did the same and now they were both lying on their sides, facing each other.  
“I…” Thomas started. Closed his mouth again, opened it again, closed it again. “I…” he said again. Fucking hell, he thought. “I just wanted to tell you something.” He looked at Newt’s eyes, looked down, looked at Newt’s eyes again, looked somewhere else. “Fuck,” he muttered. “I wanted to tell you something.” He repeated more firmly this time.  
“Okay,” Newt said sweetly.  
“I like you.” The words were blurted out, Thomas pushed them out of his mouth before his mouth could close again.  
“What?”  
“I like you,” more slowly this time. “Minho came to talk to me, and I wanted to just clear things up. Yeah, I like you, like, a lot and all that. I’m sorry I kissed you that day in the tree house. I did because I liked you and I wanted to see if you’d like me back,” the words were flowing out of him uncontrollably now, “and I saw that you didn’t and I’m really sorry, that was a dick move, I know. I hope this doesn’t make things weird between us, I really don’t want to lose your friendsh–” Thomas mouth got closed, not by Thomas’s command, but by Newt’s lips, which were pressed against them.  
“What?” Thomas asked faintly when they parted.  
“I like you too, Tommy,” Newt said.  
“What?”  
“I like you too,” Newt repeated. “And have for a while. I was thinking if I should tell you, but I was afraid of how you’d react.”  
Thomas looked back toward the rest of the group. The only people still awake were the ones on watch: two girl from Group B, and Minho, ever mistrusting the Group B girls. They were all with their backs turned to where Thomas and Newt were, so they didn’t see them kissing, and wouldn’t see if they kissed again. So Thomas turned back to facing Newt and kissed him again. Thomas felt Newt’s mouth form a smile as they touched. Newt reached for Thomas’s face and caressed his cheek while they kissed.  
“I really like you, Newt.” Even the name felt nice to say.  
“I really like you too, Tommy.”

That night they slept embraced. Thomas’s head lying on Newt’s chest. The tranquility in Newt’s breathing soothed Thomas’s worries about the end of their strange mission, it made him feel like things had, after all, a chance of being alright.


	5. Death Cure - in Denver

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They arrive at WICKED's compound;  
> They flee from there;  
> Thomas and Newt are separated as Thomas goes into Denver with Minho, Brenda and Jorge while Newt stays in the Berg.

Before falling asleep, Newt realized that in the first time in a long time, he was happy. He felt, in that moment in the Scorch, the happiest he’d even been since arriving at the Glade, in other words, all the life he remembered having.

He remembered how worried he felt when they were separated from Thomas and Brenda in the crank city. How he was worried sick that Thomas might get hurt, or worse, die. And the worst of all, Newt wouldn’t be there in his last moment to say goodbye, or to even just see him for the last time. Their last moment together had been brief and taken away suddenly. If things went bad, Newt thought to himself, he didn’t know how much more he’d be able to deal with. Luckily it didn’t come to that, they found each other again, and Thomas was fine. Newt could sleep calmly. And so he did.

*

Once again, there they were, in the middle of a lot of things, happening with a lot of speed, all at once. The fight with those weird creatures with blades in their bodies, the Berg, that strange man asking Thomas to chose between Brenda and Jorge whom to throw out of the ship…. Finally settling in, eating, having the prospect of a bed, of being able to sleep, of finally – finally – being over with this Trials.

But no, of course not. Once again, where was Thomas? For a whole month Thomas was kept away from the rest of them. “He’s having bad reactions, he’s acting crazy,” they told them. _That can’t be right,_ Newt thought. There was something wrong with that whole place. As long as they were in WICKED’s claws they wouldn’t be able to let the guard down. Just like that Thomas was taken away from him. Again. That clicked something in Newt’s head. He had to be prepared for that, it’s happened twice now, before anyone realized what had happened, Thomas was gone. So the perspective of the worst happening came to Newt’s mind again. He had to be prepared. He couldn’t afford to have unsettled business in case something like that happened. In case one of them died. Unsaid words, unopened hearts; he couldn’t afford that.

At first there wasn’t anything he could actually _do_ about that. There was only the thought.

Then he heard the news. He wasn’t Immune. He could catch the Flare. He could die. No. He _would_ die, that was certain. He was going to, sooner or later, catch it. And he couldn’t afford, of all things, to let this make him hurt his friends, most of all Thomas.

So when they were fleeing from WICKED’s compound and the thought popped in his head, he felt an urge to attend to it, almost despair. He was somehow certain that that was his last opportunity to give Thomas the note he had thought of writing the night before, because after that they would be fleeing and probably being followed and god only knew what would happen.

So when they were grabbing the guns and ammo from the deposit he knew he had to do that now.

 _Kill me. If you’ve ever been my friend, kill me._ He wrote on a note and gave it to Thomas with instructions to open it when the time was right.

“You’ll bloody know,” he said and Thomas started to ask. Of course he would, wouldn’t he? He surely must have thought the same as Newt, of course he had already got to the same conclusion. Newt would die, and soon. He didn’t want to become one of those things. Thomas was his hope of ending it before that could happen.

*

When he punched the wall, he got nervous. They were in the Berg already out of WICKED’s compound and heading to Denver. And Newt was beginning to lose it. He didn’t mean to answer so aggressively, much less to punch the wall. The moment he did he was embarrassed of having done it, and nervous about the idea of doing more things like that, the virus would only get worse and those episodes would only become more and more frequent.

He left and went to lie down in fetal position to think about things, sort them out, or rather try not to thing about anything. What else was there to sort out? He knew what was going to happen and there was no way of avoiding it. Now there was only sadness left. Sadness at thinking that that happened exactly when he had finally found someone that cared about him, and understood him.

“Hey,” Thomas said from behind him. He turned to look at him. “Is there a place for me there?”

Newt moved to the side of the bed a little and Thomas lied down on his side, looking intently at Newt.

“I’m sorry,” Newt said.

“Shh, it was not your fault.”

Newt said nothing. He understood that Thomas was probably right, it wasn’t his fault, but it felt like it was all the same.

“Hey,” Thomas called, “look at me.” Newt turned to lie on his side too. “It’s okay. Breathe,” Thomas said soothingly, “and know that no matter what happens, nothing will change who you are. We know who you are. I know. And I’ll always have only the best memories of you, no matter how” his voice cracked a bit then and a tear left his eye, “that virus makes you act.”

 _Kill me._ Newt wanted to say. _Kill me. If you’ve ever been my friend, or cared about me, or loved me, kill me now._ Instead, he smiled sadly. Thomas kissed him. It was salty from the tears, of both of them.

Thomas shifted his position a bit and passed his arm around Newt, who lay his head on Thomas chest just like they had that night in the Scorch, only switched. Thomas felt Newt’s movement before he heard the sobs. Minutes passed and Newt calmed down, then fell asleep. All the while Thomas was caressing his long blond hair. Eventually Thomas fell asleep as well.

*

“Janson thinks that Newt’s succumbing to the Flare a lot faster than average. We have to go check on him,” said Thomas after telling Minho, Brenda and Jorge all about his weird encountering with Janson.

Janson the Rat Man, one of WICKED’s employee, one that not only did not care about the suffering Thomas and his friends were put through, was also _bored_ by it.

“And I believe him on this,” continued Thomas. “You saw how Newt’s been acting.” Thomas felt bad for blowing up at his friend, but he stood by what he said. He was worried about Newt. He clung to the hope that somehow they’d find a way to treat him. Maybe if not cure him, at least gain time.

He felt so far from Newt right now. In that moment all he wanted most was to be next to Newt, to hold him, to tell him that it was okay. Even if it weren’t. He remembered Newt’s note on his shirt’s pocket. The only thing from Newt that he had with him to cling to.

Thomas was tempted to pull Newt’s note out of his pocket and read it right then and there, but he’d promised he’d wait until he knew for sure the time was right. _Oh my god and what it…_ Thomas thought. _What if the right time is after Newt’s dead? I hope I never read this note, then._

*

They settled in some cheap hotel for the night. That was the only option. They couldn’t go back to the Berg, they wouldn’t arrive in time. Thomas lay curled up in the old bed. Remembering the moment he and Newt had shared just the night before and wishing they were still like that, that they had never broken that embrace as were still hugging in the bed in the Berg.

 _Oh Newt._ The thought of Newt sleeping alone in the Berg broke Thomas heart.


	6. Death Cure - after Denver

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas, Minho, Brenda and Jorge go back to the Berg and find Newt's note;  
> They go rescue Newt from Crank Palace;  
> Thomas meets Newt on his way leaving Denver.

_They got inside somehow. They’re taking me to live with the other Cranks. It’s for the best. Thanks for being my friends. Goodbye._

Never a note hurt so much. Some words scribbled in a piece of paper, and still, felt like a hand going through Thomas’s chest and squeezing his heart. Thomas felt the strength leave his body, his legs shook and threatened to fail to support Thomas’s weight. The Berg’s walls, ceiling and floor were spinning as Thomas reached his arm to hand the note to whoever was there to get it and stumbled to the bed where the note was lying.

Thomas sat down on the bed. Newt’s bed. Then lied down. Newt had slept in that bed only once and in general lied down there twice, one of which was with Thomas. That was all the connection that place had with Newt and that was all the connection Thomas had with Newt. There was nothing left, no object, no clothes, nothing onto which Thomas could hold.

*

Thomas woke up never remembering having gone to sleep in the first place, but a moment later he remembered what had happened when they arrived at the Berg. The words. _It’s for the best_ , Newt said. How can it? How can it be for the best if it hurts so much? And not even having the chance to say goodbye. Thomas just lied there in fetal position, postponing the moment when he’d have to get up and face the world. A world that didn’t have Newt in it.

No, that could not be. Newt wasn’t dead. They’d go after him, rescue him from where ever he was.

He heard the door opening and looked in that direction to see Minho coming at him. He sat on the bed and put his hand on Thomas’s shoulder.

“Hey,” he said.

Thomas mumbled a “Hey” in response.

“I’m sorry,” Minho said. “I can only imagine what it’s being like for you.”

That shook Thomas out of his stupor. Minho, the guy who had known Newt for _years_ was comforting him who only knew Newt for weeks. How hard that must be for _Minho_.

“Dude, I’m sorry,” Thomas said, undoing the fetal position. “You were friends for way longer, I… that must be really hard for you, I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, I’ve known him since I can remember. But what you two had was different, I know that.” That made Thomas blush. “Of course I know. You weren’t just friends. And I can’t begin to imagine how that must be, having that one special person taken away from you. But don’t worry, we’ll get him back, okay? We’ll get him back.”

*

There they were, only a few yards away from the entrance to the bowling alley in the Crank Palace. Thomas’s nervousness increased with every step they took. He hated not knowing what he was going to encounter. A horrible thought passed his mind when they were only a few steps away from entering the place. _What if he’s a mess?_ Thomas immediately felt ashamed of having thought that. But that was a possibility, wasn’t it? He had to think of that sooner or later since that was Newt’s fate. Sooner or later Newt would be past the Gone.

But he wasn’t a mess yet. And that made it worse in a way. That made it worse because when Newt spoke, Thomas knew that came from him, not from the Flare messing with his head. Thomas knew that Newt was lucid when he told them to go away. Thomas’s senses were numb all the way back to the Berg. The world was spinning, he didn’t process what he heard, he just let himself be pushed and led by his friends, he didn’t process the images his eyes saw. The only thing in his mind was Newt’s voice – and face, the anger in his face – saying to Thomas _“And you, Tommy. You’ve got a lot of nerve coming here and asking me to leave with you. A lot of bloody nerve. The sight of you makes me sick.”_

_The sight of you makes me sick. The sight of you makes me sick. The sight of you makes me sick._

He couldn’t have meant that. Yet, he was lucid when he said that. There was no insanity in his eyes. What did he mean? _What do you mean, Newt? What did I do?_ Thomas thought was they entered the Berg, a tear running down his cheek.

Thomas went instinctively to Newt’s bed, whishing the older boy had lied there a couple more times, just enough to leave his scent. He hadn’t. The only thing that made Thomas know that that bed had been Newt’s was the memory of him lying on it, of Thomas lying on it with him.

 _Shucking hell,_ Thomas thought at the realization that he had nothing of Newt. Except this standardized piece of furniture. And the note. Also the note. The very one that told them that Newt had been taken away from them.

 _The note…_ Thomas thought. How could he have forgotten? The note Newt gave him back in WICKED’s compound. Thomas reached for his shirt’s pocket and hesitated with his hand lying there. He was afraid of what he’d find in the note.

Minho and the other were brought by the sound of Thomas’s crying. He was screaming, thrashing, sobbing uncontrollably. Minho quickly went to him and hugged him, battling against Thomas’s thrashing limbs.

“Minho,” Thomas said faintly. Minho signaled to the other to leave them alone. Thomas hugged Minho back. And sobbed. Thomas cried wishing he could cry all the tears there were in him, cry himself dry and fade away, so that he wouldn’t remember Newt anymore. It was a horrible thing to wish, he knew, but he just couldn’t bear the pain anymore.

The words in the note Newt left in his bed gave Thomas the worst pain he had ever felt to that point, but they were nothing compared to what Thomas felt reading the line written in the note he was carrying that whole time.

_Kill me. If you’ve ever been my friend, kill me._

Thomas was carrying that all the time.

Newt didn’t want to become a Crank, he preferred to be killed before that happened. And Thomas had failed him. Now he was there in that place. Destined to become a Crank. But how could he ask that of Thomas? How in the seven hells could Thomas fulfill that wish?

But that was his wish, his final wish, like it or not.

And Thomas had failed Newt.

*

Thomas’s didn’t think he could accept that he’d never again see Newt. That just didn’t feel like a possibility. What was worse, knowing he was out there somewhere. If Thomas had seen Newt die, if he was sure Newt was nowhere to be seen again, maybe it’d be easier for him to accept that he wouldn’t be seeing Newt ever again. But Newt was out there. Somewhere. What was he doing? What was he thinking? Was he thinking about Thomas?

Thomas tried to accept, but he couldn’t. So when he saw Newt again, he didn’t know what to make of it. Some part of him thought that was his brain playing tricks on him. His brain, though, insisted on the image he was seeing. Thomas forgot how to speak for a second.

“Stop the car!” he shouted finally.

God, his looked horrible. Hair in patches, red spots in his scalp. So thin, his clothes barely hanging on his body.

Thomas did the only thing he could do – try and convince Newt to come with him. Of course. What else could Thomas do? Say hello, nice to meet you and goodbye? Thomas tried to sound like what he was asking was a reasonable thing to ask in that situation, but inside he was begging please. _Please, Newt, please, come with me, come. I know what I’m asking doesn’t make much sense, and I know there is little hope, but come with me._

“Get out of here, Tommy,” was all Newt answered. “Get away.” Stabs in Thomas heart. Then Newt was screaming, things escalated so fast Thomas could barely keep track of them. “You shuck traitor! Didn’t you read my note? You can’t do one last, lousy thing for me? Gotta be the hero, like always? I hate you! I always hated you!”

Next thing Thomas knew they were on the ground, Newt on top of him.

“I hate you, Tommy!” The way he still called Thomas was the most painful stab. If he called Thomas by his full name or even the worst insult it would have been better, because then Thomas could focus on the fact that that was only the virus speaking. But it wasn’t, was it? There was some of Newt in there too.

Thomas’s senses were numb, he wasn’t processing very well all the stimuli around him.

“You wanna know why I have this limp, Tommy? Did I ever tell you? No, I don’t think I did.”

“What happened?” Thomas asked.

“I tried to kill myself in the Maze. Climbed halfway up one of those bloody walls and jumped right off. Alby found me and dragged me back to the Glade right before the Doors closed. I hated the place, Tommy. I hated every second of every day. And it was all … your … fault!”

Then Newt grabbed his hand that was holding the gun and pointed it to his own forehead.

“Now make amends!” Newt was screaming. “KILL ME!”

Could Thomas do it? Did he have the courage? He didn’t think he did and he didn’t _want_ to have the courage to do such a thing. Still… that was what Newt wanted. That was his last wish. He had control over almost nothing. No one had much control over anything since the Flare. Much less WICKED’s Subjects. Much less those Subjects that were not Immune. Like Newt. Newt caught the Flare and that took away all the control he had left, that was his death sentence. So the last thing he had control over was how and when to die. And to die before he reached the Gone was his last wish. Thomas wasn’t sure he could kill the person that was so much more than a friend to him. But could Thomas took that last wish away from that same person that meant so much to him?

Thomas took one long last look at the face of the person he loved. No matter how bad his conditions were, his beauty could never fade. The long blond hair falling from the shoulders, the blue eyes whose kindness was still there, even with all that was going on. The older boy’s expression changed too, Thomas saw that in that moment the Flare gave way for Newt to surface one last time.

Newt was in total control when he said, “Please, Tommy. Please.”

Thomas nodded. Pulled him closer and kissed him one last time. He felt Newt’s calmness and that calmed Thomas too. He knew Newt was in piece.

When their lips parted, Thomas still had his eyes closed. Feeling his heart shatter and vanish leaving only a devastating and absolute emptiness, he pulled the trigger.

*

The feel of the car seat pressing against his back and thighs, the touch of the window glass on his head every now and then when the car bumped on the road told Thomas he was already in another place. But in his mind he was stuck at that same moment.

Thomas was stuck in a loop of hearing the loud blow of the gun going off, the sound of the bullet going through flesh and bone, the weight of Newt falling onto him. Then the weight being pushed aside, hands grabbing him, making him stand up. A voice saying, “C’mon boy, you had your goodbye,” which Thomas thought was not a nice thing to say at that sensitive moment. He kept his eyes closed all the while, until he had been feeling the car move for a while so that he was sure they were away from the place where that horrible scene had happened. It was almost as if he couldn’t open his eyes even if he wanted to. Either way, he wouldn’t want to open them, because he was afraid if he did he would look back and if he looked back he would see Newt’s body. Newt’s dead body. And he couldn’t take that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know what it looks like, but trust me, there's a happy ending coming, I promise.


	7. Death Cure - WICKED's Compound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas arrive at the WICKED compound and discovers he'll have to have his brain dissected.

The plan was following uneventful so far. The Berg left Thomas at the planned spot in the woods. Thomas lost no time beginning his hike through the snow white landscape and soon arrived at the outskirts of the woods, from where he could see WICKED’s compound.

As soon as he got near the gates, they opened. He heard the sound of a microphone being opened and prepared to hear Janson’s voice. It sure came, a second later.

“Thomas, we are glad you made the right choice.”

Thomas walked on as if there had been no sound except the wind.

“When you enter, you will be directed to disinfecting,” Janson’s voice went on, “and then we’ll meet you immediately after.”

 _We,_ Thomas thought, wondering who he would be meeting other than Rat Man. Would he remember any of the people? Whoever they were going to be.

When Thomas got near the front glass doors, they slide aside. Thomas walked in, feeling the air fanned from above shoving his hair over his eyes. He passed a hand to set them back again. He saw two guards, one on each side of the hallway. Their uniforms all black except for the blue acronym on their chest contrasting with the white of the floor and walls.

“Please, follow me,” the one on the left said and began to walk. Thomas followed and heard the steps of the one on the right on Thomas’s rear. They lid him to a door. Thomas stepped in and discovered himself in a small room, like a closet, when the door closed behind him, he saw that he was in some sort of capsule.

Air was fanned onto him again. Then another wave of air, but this time it felt a bit moist. Then a thick liquid splashed on him from head to toe. A door in front of him, on the opposite side of the door through which he entered, slide open. Soaking wet, he stepped out and found himself in a medium sized room, like a cleaning cabinet. The only thing in the white room except Thomas was a big bin.

Thomas was a bit startled by an automatic voice. “Please, put all your clothing pieces in the bin. New clothes will be provided shortly,” it said. “Please put all your clothes in the bin.” The voice repeated the same two sentences until Thomas had put his underwear in the bin. The moment he did, a door slid open in front of him. Soaking wet, he stepped in and found himself in a capsule identical to the one had come from. Again the same procedure of air, air with moist, thick liquid. But this time, after the thick liquid came a thin liquid that Thomas realized was water.

A door in front of him slid open, he was in a room identical to the one before, but this time with a table with white clean clothes. He wore them and a door slide open, he stepped out and found Janson staring at him along with a woman wearing a lab coat.

“Thomas,” Dr. Ava Paige said, “I’m glad we could meet again.”

*

“And I agreed to that…?” Thomas repeated the words slowly.

“Yes, you were aware of what was at stake since the beginning, Thomas. You believed in this cause, and was willing to do whatever it took.” The words the man sitting in front of him rang in minds, echoing away. Thomas heard them, but wasn’t really paying much attention. He was just thinking of what was laid in front of him.

He stayed quiet for a moment. Sitting rigidly, his back not even touching the chair’s backrest. He breathed the cool air of the room to which Dr. Paige brought him and thought of the world outside, where in most parts it was scolding hot. Funny how in moments like this when his life’s end was being discussed his thoughts were floating calmly.

The grief that stuck him reminding him of the emptiness in his chest reminded him of why he was so calm. There was nothing else to care about. No, that wasn’t true, Thomas knew that. He knew there were still things to be cared for. But sometimes it was so hard to keep at it. At the thought of not having Newt to care about anymore, it was so hard to keep caring about anything at all.

What was his life? What was it worth anymore?

The grief hit him hard and a tear rolled down his cheek.

“Thomas,” the woman sitting by the man’s side said softly. “What is your answer?”

“I don’t really have a choice, do I?”

The three people that were in the room with Thomas looked uneasily at one another. It was Dr. Paige who answered.

“We expect your approval, in respect to all the years you dedicated of your life to this research, even if you don’t remember them.”

“It doesn’t matter. Yes, you can do it,” Thomas said. He was feeling dizzy, almost somnolent. “But the Right Arm.” His words came slurred. “They’ll attack here.”

“We are aware of that,” the man said. “We have our ways of defense.”

“I was helping them.”

“We are aware of that,” the man repeated.

“I set a device outside that will deactivate your weapons.” Thomas had his eyes closed now. The tears insisted on rolling down his face either way.

“We are aware of that,” came the usual response. That startled Thomas a bit.

“What?”

“Thomas,” Dr. Paige called gently. “We were… monitoring you. To make sure things were going according to plan.”

“But… Hans…” Thomas started saying. “He took it off…”

The door opened and Janson said holding the door, “Drs. The operation room is all set. Everything is ready; the surgeons are only awaiting Thomas.”

“Thank you, Janson,” the woman said. “He thought he had successfully deactivated it,” she continued as if Janson’s interruption never happened. “But we have our security measures,” the woman explained. “The device was still working.”

“And at any rate,” began the man, “that information about the device was old. Our defense mechanism will not be affected by it. We have means of defending ourselves from the Right Arm. Although…” he trailed away, then continued. “Although it would help if you sent them a message Thomas. Saying you agreed to finishing this last Variable. Asking them to halt the attack. This compound can take the attack, but… people might still get hurt. Actually most probably their own people. For their own safety, Thomas, it would be of great help if you asked them to stop.”

“It won’t work.”

“It could.”

“It won’t. Even if I say that I agreed with you, they wouldn’t hear it. The Right Arm won’t stop. I’ll just become a target along with WICKED.”

“You are part of WICKED, Thomas.”

“I guess I am.”

“Well, in any case, do you state that you are no longer of the opinion that the attack should happen and are willingly going to partner with WICKED in this last Variable?”

After a pause, Thomas said, “Whatever,” and got up and went for the door.

*

Janson led him to a large room that contained a lot of beds.

“We’ll give you a few minutes to… prepare,” Janson said. “We’ll take you in for the operation shortly,” he finished and left. Thomas sat on a bed and with a deep sigh, let his back fall onto the mattress.

It didn’t matter.

The conversation he had just had kept replaying in his mind. The Psychs and Dr. Paige explaining that the last procedure for the conclusion of the blueprint is examining Thomas’s brain activity from closer. They’d need to dissect Thomas’s head alive. The procedure would kill him. That was a sacrifice he would be doing for the sake of the human race.

It didn’t matter. They were about to take Thomas’s life away, but he was already feeling like that had happened. When Newt was taken away from him it felt like his own life was taken away too. What was left?

Thomas’s wasn’t even sure why he bothered to go all that way. He guessed he went on with the plan to help the Right Arm because he had already signed up for it. And having something to do helped, of course. A focus, an aim. But deep inside, Thomas didn’t like much to admit that there was a small part of him that wondered if he’d die in the conflict and that maybe that wouldn’t be so bad. He was so tired. Finally a rest, and meeting Newt once again in the afterlife if there was one.

After Newt was taken away from him nothing mattered anymore. Let WICKED have their experiment. Maybe they’re right and they will find a cure. Then that’s all the better. If they’re not, too bad, Thomas won’t have to worry about it anymore. He didn’t want to have to worry about anything anymore. The only thing he liked worrying – and caring – about was Newt, and he was gone.

When Janson came, he was ready. They went for the operating room where a nurse was waiting.

“I will minister a sedative and you’ll be fall asleep in a minute, alright?” the man said.

Thomas mumbled an “Yes” and lay on the bed. A minute later he was asleep.

*

When he surfaced consciousness, again he took a moment to remember where he was and how he’d gotten there.

 _This is a dream, then,_ he concluded after remembering. But he became more conscious and realized that wasn’t a dream. He opened his eyes and saw himself lying in a bed in the room he had his last minutes before Janson came for him. It was a large white room with half a dozen beds in a roll and a large window that showed another room like this one.

Thomas summoned his strengths to get off bed. He looked through the window and saw that in the other room there was only one bed occupied. And it was occupied by a boy, around Thomas’s age, blond.

The word got caught in his throat as he stumbled backward and sat on the bed again. He felt dizzy and passed out.

*

WICKED Memorandum, Date 232.4.10, Time 7:19

TO: My Associates

FROM: Ava Paige, Chancellor

RE: Regarding Newt

As expected, using Subject A4 as a Variable has brought incredible results. Better than anything we could have expected.

Thomas’s ever growing attachment to the boy, what we at first feared might hinder progress, turned out to be very useful for us.

I would like to take this opportunity to congratulate our great team of Psychs, who have so diligently designed Variables all through the Trials that have never failed to bring valuable results, and have been quick to think of this, so to call, “last minute” Variable, which not only gave us important data, but also gave Newt a second chance. A thing many others couldn’t have.

Newt has successfully been brought to the compound as is already properly hospitalized in the Medical wing. The medical team has informed me that his vitals are mostly stable, the eventual alterations are under control. The poor thing is being kept sedated. Let us wait for the medical team’s report on his status.

And let us hope that our success will not fall short. We are few steps close to accomplishing our mission. Hopefully, for Newt’s sake and the sake of the whole of humanity, Thomas will go through the last Variable as scheduled and we’ll be able to achieve a treatment.

That is all for now.

*

When he opened his eyes again, he saw Dr. Paige and the same two Psychs entered in the room, looking at him. And they were all looking extremely happy.

“Thomas,” Dr. Paige said, “we understand this is confusing. We’ll explain everything. It’s alright, everything is fine.”

“My dear Thomas,” the man began. “How happy we are to inform you that it is ready. The blueprint is ready and thanks to you. We finished the last two Variables and we have our blueprint!”

“Wh– what…?” Thomas began.

“I’m sorry, of course you don’t understand a thing of what’s going on. Let me explain,” said the woman. “There were two Variables left for the completion of the blueprint. One was that of the loss of a dear one. The other was the prospect of having to sacrifice your own life. There was no need for you to really sacrifice yourself. All we needed was that you believed that that was what you were doing. I’m sorry to have lied to you.”

“So I didn’t need to…” Thomas abandoned that line of thought as another thing the Psychs had said caught his attention. “Loss of a dear one? Wha–… that was…”

“Thomas,” Dr. Paige began in that soothing voice of hers, “we understand that this must come as a shock. I am sorry that you had to go through that, but we need you to know that we only did what was extremely necessary.”

Thomas remembered what he saw before passing out. “That was part of a… Variable?” His voice was faint.

“Yes,” the male Psych answered.

“So… he didn’t– he’s not– he–” Thomas was getting frantic, he couldn’t organize his thoughts.

“No, Newt isn’t dead, Thomas. He is being treated as we speak,” he female Psych explained.

“Wait… treated?”

“Yes, Thomas,” she said, beaming. “Thanks to you, now that is possible.”

“How… I don’t understand.”

“Thomas,” Dr. Paige said, “you gave us a cure.”


	8. Death Cure - WICKED's Compound

After Dr. Paige telling Thomas he had given them a cure, they told him they needed him to do one important thing. Go out talk to the Right Arm.

As they strode through the compound toward the front entrance, Janson quickly explained to him that they broadcast the recording of Thomas expressing his agreement with WICKED in every radio frequency, and other media in hopes to prevent the Right Arm from attacking. It didn’t fully work, but it did make a lot of people hesitate on their support of the attack. They attacked, but with less strength and, after discovering the magnetic force field surrounding the compound, had their first offensives frustrated. They had, then, stayed put surrounding the compound, waiting for updates in their situation.

Now Thomas was in charge of going out, still inside the force field of course, to show himself, show he was alive, and still agreeing with WICKED.

They arrived at the front door.

“You go out alone,” Janson told him as he put something in Thomas’s shirt. Thomas then discovered it to be a microphone. Then he gave an earpiece to Thomas.

Thomas did. He walked a few yards towards the mass of rebels ahead of him. He began speaking, his voice amplified. “I– I’m here to…” He wasn’t even sure, actually. “To say I decided to cooperate with WICKED. They say… they said they have a cure. They said I have a cure.” Thomas spotted his friends in the crowd. He looked right at Minho. “They have Newt. Minho, they have Newt.” His voice faltered and he was glad to have the mic, because if he didn’t they wouldn’t hear him. “They say they have a cure and are going to cure him, and he’ll get better.”

 _“Ask for a ceasefire,”_ came Janson’s voice in his ear.

“A ceasefire.” Thomas was barely managing to organize his words anymore. “We need a ceasefire.”

_“We’ll accept everyone in. We have shelter, food and water.”_

“Shelter…” Thomas took a deep breath. He was going to do that thing right. He would fall apart later. Newt’s life depended on his doing this right. He repressed a tear that was filling his eye. “There is food, shelter, water. They will take you all in, if you’re willing to come. Please, ceasefire. Please. We have a cure. They can save Newt.” The tear insisted and won, it rolled down. More followed.

_“Okay, you can come back.”_

Thomas stepped into the compound again and heard Janson speaking to a guard. “I’ll take the negotiation from here, take the Subject back to his room.”

“Copy that,” the guard said and put a hand on Thomas’s should to guide him. Thomas was actually grateful for it because he was dizzy and numb, he wanted to fall to the ground. “Taking Subject A1 back to medical wing,” the guard said into his walkie-talkie.

They told Thomas to go to sleep and that the next day they would explain everything. Thomas tried to argue and say he wanted to know everything right away, and see Newt, too. But he didn’t have the strength. His body was heavy.

“Thomas, you gave a lot of blood, you can’t spend too much more strength,” a doctor told him. Before falling asleep, Thomas heard her saying to a nurse, “He’ll go to sleep on his own, but it’s better to minister the sedative just to assure he’ll sleep all through the night.”

*

“Where are my friends?” Thomas asked. They had brought him to a meeting room.

It felt familiar; did he attend meetings in that same room before the Maze? He was sitting in one of the heads of the long table. The Psychs were there, as well as a couple of other doctors. Dr. Paige was in the main head of the table, screens behind her showing reports of the Trials, brain scans, graphics, comparisons, etc. All of their eyes were on Thomas.

“They are being sent to the dorms as soon as their medical checkups are being completed, Thomas,” one of the doctors said.

“We have already told you that,” the male Psych said.

“When will I see them?”

“Very soon,” the man said.

“When?”

“Thomas,” said Dr. Paige. “I promise you, you have my word. As soon as we finish this meeting you will be brought to your friends.”

“Okay.”

“Now,” the man began. “We have a dire situation in our hands, time is short so we’d better not waste it. Please save all your questions to the end.”

Then he and the other Psych, helped every once in a while by the doctors, proceeded to explain to Thomas what that dire situation was. Thomas could see it.

As they had already told Thomas, and quickly repeated, Newt’s death was faked. They manipulated Thomas’s perceptions to make him feel sure the bullet had gone through Newt’s head and controlled Newt to make him stay still long enough for the two people that were with Thomas to grab him and take him back to the car. They forced Thomas to keep his eyes closed and not look back even when they were opened just in case he saw some glimpse of the WICKED team that arrived right after he left to collect Newt.

That was the penultimate Variable. The last one was Thomas sacrificing himself. Being willing to, anyway. He did and all of the Variables were done. The blueprint was complete. They tested Thomas’s blood and their theory proved right. Thomas’s body, after going through all the traumas he did, started to produce some enzyme that fought the Flare. Thomas couldn’t make heads or tails of the technical language the doctors used – maybe one day he did, but the Swipe had taken that away. But he understood enough. That enzyme was strong enough to fight the Flare – and win – in peoples who were not past the Gone yet.

Thank god, Newt was not past the Gone. Although he was getting close. They said Newt was brought to the compound and was the first to receive the treatment achieved after Thomas had gone through the last Variable. Results might take some time to appear, but the odds were in their favor.

And now came the sensitive part of the whole thing. They were already working on synthetizing this enzyme. But it wouldn’t be an immediate thing. For the time they would have to be collected.

“I’ll have to keep giving blood?” Thomas asked.

“Yes, Thomas,” said one of the doctors. “And I imagine you can already see the problem with that. A person can only give so much blood in a period of time. You’re really tough, there’s no denying it, but you’re only one. And we can’t afford to have you go past your limit and get ill.”

“So what? What is there to do?” Thomas asked.

“The problem, Thomas,” the female Psych began, she was speaking carefully, like what she was about to say might upset Thomas, “is that you’re only one. If only we could have more Final Candidates, that would improve the circumstances.”

“More Final Candidates? Is that possible?”

“We call you Final Candidate but that name doesn’t mean you’re the only possibility, Thomas,” the male Psych said. “It refers to a Candidate who has complete all the Trials and gone through all the Variables. When circumstances got complicated and resources were threatened to become scarce we focused our efforts in you, the most promising Candidate. But we still can have other Candidates becoming Final.”

Thomas was beginning to understand. “You want the others to go through more Variables. You want to go on torturing them.”

“It is not like that. They will be helping save humanity, Thomas. Don’t you think that is worth it?”

Thomas didn’t answer. He saw the reason in what the man was telling him. But would his friends agree? Maybe if they saw it was true.

“Will they have a choice?”

“Well…” the male Psych faltered.

“Yes.” Dr Paige’s tone was decisive.

They all looked at her.

“Chancellor, you can’t be… what if they refuse? That is too high a stake we are in. We can’t afford to…”

“They will be free to choose. Don’t worry, doctors, I am sure they will make the right choice. They will follow Thomas.”

“And what makes you so sure I will agree to that? Or I don’t have a choice, too?”

“You do,” the Chancellor said. “But you will choose the right thing, Thomas. Because you want to see Newt alive and well more than anyone. And we will make that happen.” She said the last sentence looking right into Thomas’s eyes and Thomas could see a familiar kindness in them. He believed her. He would agree to that, of course he would. After all, what evil was there in giving his blood?

“I will.”

“Good. I knew you wouldn’t let us down.”

“But the others will need to see it for themselves before agreeing, too.” Thomas said. “Give them some days, a week. If they see Newt getting better they will agree to help. I know they will.

“Rest assured, Thomas, we will.”

*

“Thomas!”

It had been Teresa’s voice. Thomas knew it. But it wasn’t Teresa the first one to get to him. It was Minho. He arrived at the cafeteria and saw that it was packed. Brenda and Jorge were already getting up from the table Minho came from. He saw Aris, Harriet, Sonya and other girls from the Group B on another table. Brenda and Jorge were in the table Minho had come from. Everyone was already getting up and surrounding Thomas. He was hugged repeatedly and shook a lot of hands.

“You’re a shank full of nice entrances, aren’t you?” Minho said. “The second since we arrived here.”

They talked, and laughed, and Thomas explained what happened when he arrived the day before. Then he told them what the doctors told him moments before.

Discussion broke in the group. A lot of the girls from Group B began approaching the group and soon all those who were once WICKED Subjects were in. Most of them didn’t want any more to do with WICKED’s experiments, but one or another person said that they should do it. Thomas looked around expecting to see Teresa being one of those people, but found her a little far from the group. Their eyes met. Somehow with only her gaze she communicated to him that she was keeping her distance. She knew Thomas was still angry with her. But Thomas was beginning to force his heart to listen to his brain. Teresa did what she in the Scorch to save Thomas’s life. WICKED said they’d kill Thomas if she didn’t obey. She was brave to do those things knowing the risk of losing Thomas forever. He wasn’t ready to go back being best pals with her. But he wanted to get there some day.

“Teresa, what do you think?” he said aloud. Everyone looked at her.

“I think we should do it,” she said.

Dr. Paige arrived at this moment and called the attention of the whole cafeteria.

“I see Thomas has already let you in on the latest updated of our researches,” she said. “Rest assured that you will not be forced to go through anymore Variables. Although we really hope that, in time, you will agree to. What we will expect all of you to provide us is your bloods. As Thomas will have explained to you, we discovered his blood to contain the strongest form of the enzyme that fights the Flare, but all of you who are immune have that enzyme, too. In weaker stages, yes, but they are also valuable to be used as a palliative treatment until we can provide the infected population with a definitive cure.”

That made the small crowd murmur a bit.

“C’mon, guys, it’s only your blood,” Thomas said and that got a general mutter of assent. Was Thomas really being the one advocating _in favor_ of WICKED? Who saw that coming? Thomas caught Teresa’s face and saw that she was smiling.

Dr. Paige went on explaining that they would share the progress of Newt’s treatment with all of them so that they could see that the cure was real and hopefully would agree to participate in the Final Variables. That, she also explained, were to be done inside the compound’s labs. They had a simulation systems that would make the Subjects go through the situations of the Variables in sort of a dream. It wasn’t a hundred percent sure of effectiveness but they were pretty confident it would do.

It felt like a dream. Thomas was waiting for the moment he’d wake up still in the chaos of the Scorch and realize it had all been a dream.

But it wasn’t a dream. This was happening.

Thomas felt a little selfish being less happy for having a cure for the humanity than he was for having a cure for Newt.


	9. Death Cure - WICKED's Compound

Being in that room, sitting in one of those hospital cushioned chairs, with his arm stretched out, giving blood, felt frighteningly familiar. Thomas had a huge déjà-vu. How many times must he have been in that same exact spot, doing that same exact thing? Well, however many times he did it, this time he was glad to do it. He’d do whatever it took to have Newt back.

They were done and the nurse said he could go. “Eat something,” she advised before he left. Thomas nodded yes, but headed straight back to the wing where Newt was. He was being kept in the same room with the large window and Thomas practically inhabited the room the other side of the glass window. He wanted to be there when Newt woke up and even though the doctors assured him they would call him as soon as Newt did, he still preferred to make sure. He even wanted to sleep in one of the beds there were there, but they wouldn’t allow him and said he needed to sleep with the others. They also didn’t let him be by Newt’s bedside. Everyone was on their toes with fear that Newt might have some sudden drawback and wake up in a rage and attack whoever was closest. Thomas didn’t care, he’d take that risk without thinking twice just to be there holding Newt’s hand, but he didn’t want to push his exigencies and end up being prohibited to even watch Newt from the window.

So Thomas only left that room for his activities and have meals, which he asked in the first day – without any real conviction, but who knows – if could be brought to him there; of course they declined and said the only place he would have his meals was in the cafeteria along with all the others. That was fair enough so Thomas didn’t insist. Overall there was an uneasy feeling in the place due to the fact that WICKED was walking on eggshells with their former Subjects. After everything that happened, they were really afraid of arousing any dissatisfaction that could lead to some sort of rebellion or whatever. But Thomas was also determined to do his part and contribute to a good progress, so he agreed with these procedures and all.

The activities Thomas had to do, besides doing medical check ups, giving blood and all that, were attending the seminar of sorts that the doctors made presenting the progress of Newt (and already a few others that were being treated with the solutions they achieved using the blood of every Immune Subject). Those seminars were like getting lost in a University and accidentally entering a class of people studying to be doctors and you’re a child that barely graduated high school. Thomas didn’t understand most of the word they used and the ones he did he couldn’t place in the overall context. And he discovered Minho was in the same situation.

The doctors saw that problem and decided that they would have to have the Swipe removed. That caused a huge uneasiness seen that they had already gone through this conflict. WICKED had tried to remove their Swipe and that resulted on them fleeing from the compound. But this time, Thomas was more inclined to let them. He _wanted_ to believe in WICKED’s good intentions and that they wouldn’t manipulate their memories. And so far Newt was showing a lot of progress – which Thomas noticed from his appearance watching him almost all day every day, not from the data the doctors presented – so by the looks of it WICKED hadn’t been lying so far, which let Thomas to think they wouldn’t be lying now.

He said that when they were in the dorm room later that day, hours after they had gotten the news of the compulsory Swipe removal, in their usual circle. That was one week since the return of the Subjects to the compound. They had started that routine straight away after the gathering in the cafeteria – one thing you could not complain about WICKED is wasting time – and by now they were already used to the routine, like they had been doing that for way longer. Organically they formed a sort of nightly club; every night, since day one, after curfew they stay talking for a while before bed. It was a way of remind one another that they were there for each other, that they were not alone. They would usually pair up – or get three or four people in the same bed, even – in beds close to each other. The girls from Group B didn’t engage much in this, one or two were attracted to the reunion at first, but more from curiosity of what was going on, once they saw there was no ruse or anything, they got back to their own corner. Eventually they’d do the same between themselves, but there wasn’t really much interaction between the two groups.

So there was Thomas, Minho, the other Gladers that had survived, and Teresa. She kept mostly to herself, but kept close. Thomas had already forgiven her, he understood that she did what she had to, and she only did it to save his life. Of course they were still in a weird place, not really sure how to act, so they had been kinda distant. She was always there, though, sitting in her bed, being part of the nightly gathering.

“You really trust them this time?” Minho asked Thomas after he had shared his thoughts on not seeing why WICKED would lie at this point.

“I guess I do,” Thomas answered. “I really think they’re telling the truth now, Newt _is_ getting better. I think they really have the cure. So why would they mess more with our heads if they already have the cure?”

“Makes sense, I guess,” Minho conceded, “but I don’t know, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to trust them.”

“Well, I don’t think they messed with our heads,” one Glader said, he was a boy Thomas hadn’t talked to yet. He had dark skin and short black hair. “I know if they had we wouldn’t be supposed to realize, of course, but I don’t, maybe some of us would have felt something was off or something. Or if they had manipulated our memories they wouldn’t be so chill leaving us all together like that. They’d probably be afraid we had conflicting version of events or something like that. Right?” he added looking around searching for support. A few people agreed with him, even though it was really impossible to know.

But what he was saying was true. They had all had their Swipes removed. All except Thomas and Minho, who had fled. And Newt, of course, but they wouldn’t dare operate him before he fully recovered, so his Swipe would have to be removed after he woke up. What the boy was saying made sense, they all had had their memories back and no one felt nothing strange or anything. When the speculation of the bad memories having been held back came, a lot of them said they remembered bad things, too, bad emotions towards WICKED, how they hated WICKED at times, how they felt that WICKED was guilty of destroying their families. Feelings they had had throughout their lives inside that very same compound. They didn’t talk much about the memories of their lives before the Maze when Thomas and Minho was around, though, because the two boys asked them not to. They had always wanted to forget they even had had a life before the Maze up to this moment.

“Minho, we are very close to having Newt back. Let’s not lose that,” Thomas said.

“I guess you’re right.”

Soon after that, the group started to scatter. The boys were going to sleep one boy one, then there was only Thomas, Minho and Teresa awake. They had been silent for a moment, there wasn’t really much to be said. Thomas looked to the side and saw, on the bed next to his, Teresa sitting against the wall behind her, hugging her knees. He had almost forgotten she was there, so silent that she had stayed.

“I guess the real reason I’m afraid,” Thomas broke the silence, “is that I won’t like the person I was before.”

Minho grumbled more to himself than to the others.

“I mean, I hate WICKED, I’ve hated them since I discovered they existed. After the Box and all. But then I discovered I work for them… And they said I liked it, I was enthusiastic about what we were doing.” Then he spoke looking at Teresa, “They said I was enthusiastic about building the Maze… how can I have been?”

“Thomas,” Teresa said, speaking for the first time in a long while. “You will not be disappointed with what you’ll remember. You never liked working for WICKED, you always had doubts, always thought it was too cruel, always thought about whether there really wasn’t an alternative.”

“But they said–” Thomas began.

“They lied. I’m with you that they have no reason to be lying now. I really think they won’t do anything they’re not saying they will. But, Tom,” she gave a little pause, to see how Thomas would react at her calling him like that, the way she called him before. Thomas looked her with soft eyes. He let her call him like that, “they _have_ lied before. Of course they’d say you were enthusiastic about working for them. But I know you better than they do, I know what you really thought.”

“How do you know it isn’t just a manipulated memory,” Thomas murmured, not even believing fully in what he was suggesting.

“Tom, I know. I feel it.”

Minho sighed. “I just want this to be done. I can’t wait to be done with all this and to leave this place. I’m starting to get claustrophobic in _this_ room,” he said with a big emphasis on the word and waving around the huge dorm room they were in. The room was really big, with hundreds of bunk beds to accommodate all of them.

Teresa’s face lightened a bit. “Do you want to get out of here?”

“Well, yeah, that’s what I just said,” Minho scoffed.

Teresa rolled her eyes. “I mean, this room, right now. Do you guys want to go somewhere else? There is a place…” her voice trailed off.

“A place what?” Thomas asked intrigued by why she seemed to have gotten a little sad.

“Well, let me show you,” she said getting up. “C’mon.”

They followed her through the empty hallways of the compound to a… cleaning cabinet?

“What? This is your idea of a better place to be than in the dorm?” Minho asked. “If I was claustrophobic there…” Minho said looking around.

“Why did you bring us here?” Thomas asked, speaking way more gently than Minho had. Thomas thought that Teresa was on the verge of tears.

“Guys…” she started. “Minho,” she called to make him stop wandering around the shelves and reunite with them two. “I respect whatever decision you make about the Swipe, but I really would like you to let them take it off.” She looked at Thomas. “I really want you to remember. Thomas… we’ve know each other for most of our lives, we lived here and saw each other every day. But then, since the Maze… you never remembered me, of course, and when we were almost bonding again they had me do that do you and I know you said everything was okay, but I know it’s still complicated for you. I get it. So I want you to remember, Tom. I want my best friend back. I’m sorry if that’s selfish.” A tear rolled down her cheek.

“My god, what’s the matter?” Minho asked.

She sniffed. “This place… is where me and Thomas met you, Minho. And Alby.”

“What do you mean?” Minho asked.

“Me and Thomas was always kept away from the rest of you. We only met each other. We weren’t even sure there were others. Well, we knew there were, of course. But only because we knew there must be. Then, one day Newt showed up in our doors – we had our own rooms,” she added to answer the questioning look they gave her, “and brought us here. Said you wanted to ‘check us out’,” she said with a small laugh. “Well, soon enough you’ll remember all of it, anyway. When’s the operation scheduled to happen?”

“Tomorrow,” Thomas said.

“Tomorrow!? Oh, wow, they really waste no time, do they?”

“Yeah,” Thomas muttered.

“So, what’re you gonna do?”

“I guess there isn’t much to do other than accept,” Thomas said.

“Yeah,” Minho murmured. “I guess.”

*

The next day, before Thomas went to the cafeteria to have breakfast, he decided to head to his observation spot for a couple of minutes. When he turned the corner into the hallway that had the door to Newt’s room he saw many doctors and nurses in the place. Instantly Thomas was afraid something bad had happened. What if the so feared breakdown happened and Newt had gotten worse?

Thomas started to walk faster and faster, when he was just on the brink of running a nurse left the room and walked in his direction a big smile on her face, she was a sympathetic young nurse who always treated Thomas kindly. The nurse spotted Thomas.

“Oh, Thomas,” she said, “I was just off to find you. He’s awake! Newt’s awake.”

Thomas was overwhelmed with euphoria. He didn’t even say anything, just opened a big smile and continued to follow straight to the room. When he got in there was a crowd of people. Some of them were Psychs, Thomas knew, there were nurses, the doctors that had been accompanying Newt’s case and other doctors that were there to witness this historical event. Dr. Paige walked out of the crowd.

“Thomas, good, you’re here. Come. I think it’ll be for the best if you’re the first thing he sees.” She beckoned for him to approach.

After going through the clad-in-white audience, Thomas saw that the crow wasn’t really that big, it looked that way because they were forming a huge circle around the bed, occupying almost the whole room, but that was because they were giving the bed a lot of space. Thomas supposed they didn’t want Newt to be startled when he woke up.

Thomas rushed for the bedside, held Newt’s hand gently, afraid to grab it too hard, as if that would cause Newt’s hand to shatter like glass. Thomas looked at the older boy’s face and admired his beauty as he ran his fingers along a section of the boy’s long blond hair that was fallen across his forehead.

“Hey, Tommy,” Newt said very faintly.

Thomas hadn’t even noticed Newt had opened his eyes. Thomas moved his hand away in reflex, startled.

“Don’t worry,” Newt said. “I won’t bite.”

Thomas choked a little laugh as his eyes filled with tears. Newt gave a little quiet cough.

“Hush, now, don’t waste much energy,” Thomas said.

“I’m not a terminal cancer patient, I can speak, shuck-face” Newt said. His voice really was growing stronger. He then looked away from Thomas and around the room. A tinge of confusion and fear crept in his expression. “What happened? Where am I?”

“It’s okay! It’s okay. Everything’s okay,” Thomas hurried to say. “Trust me,” he added, which seemed to make Newt calmer. But he still had the confusion stamped on his face when he turned his look back to Thomas. “You’ve been cured!” Thomas said opening a wide smile and a tear fell from his eye in that moment and splashed on their joined hand. “You’ve been cured,” he repeated. “You were going to turn. You were going to be past the Gone. But now you’re cured!”

“Wait, what… how… is this possible?”

“It is now. They found a cure,” Thomas said.

“Actually,” Dr. Ava Paige said cleaning her throat and stepped out of the encircling audience. “ _Thomas_ cured you, Newt. He gave you the cure. He gave us all a cure.” Thomas looked at her and saw that she was beaming at him. When he looked again at Newt, the older boy was looking contemplatively at him, there was a calm in his face now. Newt reached his hand that wasn’t holding Thomas’s and caressed Thomas’s face.

“So you saved me, huh? You’re not so much a shank, after all,” he said and laughed.

“Well, it happened inside me, I didn’t actually have to do anything. But, yeah, I guess.”

“Thank you,” Newt said softly, but not because he was weak. More because he wanted that to be more between the two of them than to a whole room full of doctors. Thomas opened his mouth to speak, but there wasn’t really anything to say, so he just laughed.

“Thomas,” came Dr. Paige’s soothing voice. “Now we need you to leave and leave us with him, he’s still a patient, after all.”

As much as Thomas didn’t want to leave Newt ever again, he understood that the doctors had work to do and that was all for the best of Newt’s recovery, wasn’t it. So he obliged. As Thomas was walking out of the room he heard a nurse say, “Patient Subject A5, Isaac Newton. Vitals: stable…” like she was reading from a report, or writing one.

*

“What’s with that dreamy shuck-face?” Minho asked as Thomas arrived at the table with a huge grin.

“He’s awake!” Thomas said sitting by Minho’s side. Minho’s face lit up instantly, as well as Brenda’s, who was at the table with him, sitting on the other side of the large round table. Thomas looked around looking for Teresa. He spotted her in a table some yards away, sitting with Aris, Sonya, Harriet, and a few other Group B girls. Minho hadn’t been so ready to forgive Teresa as Thomas had been, so when Thomas wasn’t around she didn’t force her presence on Minho.

“Let’s go see him!” Minho said.

“I don’t think they’ll let anyone visit just yet. There’s a whole crowd of doctors and all that there watching his every move. They must be running a thousand test now. They barely let me see him. It was only for a couple of moments and I guess it was only out of fear I might have a breakdown myself if they hadn’t.” Thomas said, feeling slightly embarrassed of admitting openly how crazy he’d been about Newt waking up lately, but trying to sound casual to laugh it off.

“Oh, I bet you made a real show out of it, didn’t you, you shuck drama queen?” Minho said laughing.

“ _‘Oh, Newt, my beloved,’_ ” Brenda mocked, doing exaggerated actions, like that was some Elizabethan play or something.

“ _‘Oh, what is it I see? Is it heaven? No, it’s just Thoms Thoms, my soulmate’_ ” Minho reacted to Brenda’s offer, playing Newt. Then the two of them proceeded to fake making out in the most exaggerated – therefore, disgusting – way possible, their mouths feet apart.

“Okay, that was a great show, but you can cut the act already,” Thomas said and punched Minho in the arm, he was embarrassed, but laughing. The two stopped the mocking and laughed, too. “And by the way… ‘Thoms Thoms’? Really? Where did that come from?” Thomas asked, Minho just laughed.

“I don’t know, that’s just how I picture this couple shit,” Minho said. Thomas felt his face get a little warm at the idea of them being seen as a couple.

“I prefer when Newt calls him Tommy, anyway,” Brenda said.

“Yeah, me too…” Thomas muttered, now getting really red.

“Aww, this shank’s _shy_ ,” Minho said, and passed his arm around Thomas and pulled him into a tight hug while he messed Thomas’s hair. “Look at that. You’re so cute being embarrassed.”

Thomas hugged him back. He was feeling so happy at that moment.

“But hey, seriously,” Minho said.

“Wait, you’re gonna say something… _seriously_?” Thomas interrupted. “Is that possible? Can you not joke for once?”

“Shut your friggin’ hole, shuck-face. I might rethink that.” Minho laughed. “But for real. You two are really cute together and I’m really happy that you two got together or whatever is happening.” He paused for a moment and his expression got more serious. That made Thomas get serious. “Newt’s been,” Minho began, “to some dark places at time, you know? In the Glade and all. He puts out this strong image and he’s always keeping us focused and together, but I know he needed someone to make _him_ focus and get motivated, you know?”

“I do,” Thomas said solemnly.

“It’s not really my place, but… he’s been through some things, you know?”

“His limp…” Thomas almost whispered.

“Wait, you know about that?” Minho asked.

“Yeah, he…” Thomas cleared his throat. “He told me about it.” He finished simply, not caring to develop, not planning to. Minho understood he wouldn’t talk any further about it, and actually seemed relieved. Thomas was looking down.

“Hey,” Minho called. “It’s all good now.” He put an arm around Thomas’s shoulders again, but this time it was a gentle hug. Thomas heard the sound of someone getting up from the table and seconds later felt Brenda sitting by his side and also hugging him. The three of them stayed there for a few moments and only broke the hug when a nurse arrived.

“Subjects A2, Thomas Edison,” she started, looking around the place, not spotting the boys right in the table closest to her. “And A7–”

“We’re here,” Thomas said.

“Ah, good. Are you ready?”

It took Minho and Thomas a couple of seconds to remember they had an operation scheduled for today.

“Oh, right,” Thomas said. “I didn’t really have time to eat. Can I have a couple more minutes?”

“You can eat after the procedure,” the nurse said. “It’s a fast operation really.”

“Let’s get this over with,” Minho said. They said their “see ya” to Brenda and followed the nurse.

*

It was strange and hard to explain. Even to himself. As Thomas walked out of the operating room he had entered not two hours ago, he knew he hadn’t always had those memories, but more because he knew that information. The memories felt like they had never been gone, but at the same time there was a hint of being new. But also old, since they were memories of the preview years of his life. It was confusing.

If Thomas had read a book some time ago and forgotten its name, than someone reminded him of the book’s title, the remembered information would feel like it never left his mind. That was simple enough, but got a little more complicated when the information was none other than all of his life, except the couple last months.

One word came to Thomas’s mind. _Teresa._ He wanted to talk to his best friend. The one person that had been with him for most of his life. For all the period of his life he could remember.

Minho walked out of the door by the side of the one out of which Thomas came. They looked at each other for a moment and in the next second were locked in a tight hug. It was like meeting a friend after a long time.

*

That day, Thomas and Minho had a really busy day. After the operation they were conceded half an hour to have breakfast (Minho had already had his, but pretended not to so he could stick with Thomas) even though the cafeteria was already “close”. Then they had to attend a meeting, which was really a class in disguise, in which doctors and Psychs showed them the data they had already presented in the seminars, so that the boys could grasp the contents and not fall behind. They received the sad news that that would go on for pretty much the whole day and that they would probably need to have a “meeting” again for one of two more days. They would have a break to have lunch and go have their medical check-up/give blood and later on the afternoon they would go back to the never ending class. At least, Thomas managed to find the thing interesting when he concentrated. The bigger problem was not getting distracted by the thoughts of Newt.

During lunch they sat on a table along with Brenda, Frypan, Jorge, Teresa, Aris, Harriet and Sonya. The last three seemed to be getting along well with Teresa so they came along when Thomas called Teresa to sit with them. It was a nice, fun lunch. Everyone was talkative and relaxed. Teresa and Thomas giggled nervously at the idea of now both having their memories back and remembering all the time they spent together.

Thomas had opened his mouth to speak when they met in the cafeteria, but Teresa said, “I know, you don’t need to say anything,” and they just laughed.

At night, when they finally were dismissed from the excruciatingly long class, Thomas was exhausted. Minho seemed in the same situation. Thomas was only thinking of falling in bed and passing out all the way to the dorm, but when they entered the room, something made him wake up immediately.

“Look who’s been discharged!” Teresa said.

Sitting on Thomas’s bed was Newt.

*

The usual nightly circle was formed. Thomas and Newt shared Thomas’s bed. Thomas arranged pillows so that he could lean against the bed head. Newt was lying between his legs onto his body, the back of his head on Thomas’s chest. Thomas had one hand lying on Newt’s chest and the other playing absently with the older boy’s long hair. Newt’s right hand was lying on top of Thomas’s left hand – which was on Newt’s chest – and his right hand was caressing Thomas’s leg next to the wall, kind of hidden. It didn’t need to be hidden, of course, but it felt nice to have an act of affection in private; made it feel all the more intimate and only theirs.

They were all still on the excited vibe from lunch. There was plenty of good news to celebrate and no bad news in sight to draw their cheeriness back. Thomas and Newt would every once in a while squeezed each other (Newt in Thomas’s leg and Thomas on Newt’s hand) as a way of reminding themselves that the other was really there, that they weren’t dreaming. Also in a way of acknowledging the other, like greeting each other even though they weren’t just meeting. In a way that too was a way of reminder, but not each to themselves, more like reminding the other that each one was there, like saying “Hey, I’m here, don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere.”

Sometime they would go past the squeezing and look at each other and smile. They wished they could spend the rest of their lives like that. Lying in bed with their loved one, surrounded by their friends. In a way they would, but they would still have to pause those moments to go back to reality and do their activities. But those could wait. At least for tonight. They would think about them tomorrow.

“Hey, Newt,” Teresa called one time. “Did they talk to you about removing your Swipe?”

“They did, yeah. Tomorrow. After breakfast. Why?”

“Oh, nothing, I was just thinking. What will you do when you have your memories back. Like, where would you like to go, you know?”

The Gladers that were around didn’t seem to understand the comment, Newt included. But Thomas and Minho did.

Soon after that the excitement receded a little and gave away for the sleepiness to come – in Thomas’s case, to come back. They said their goodnights and everyone went for their beds. Except Newt, who didn’t even have an assigned bed since no one remembered to talk about this. And even now that everyone was settling down to sleep the thought crossed their minds. It felt obvious where Newt was going to sleep. The only movement Thomas and Newt made was to change position. They lied in spoon, Thomas being the bigger, embracing Newt so that he wouldn’t ever scape his reach again. Newt felt safe inside Thomas’s arms. They slept soundly that night.


	10. Death Cure - WICKED's Compound

Thomas slept calmly most of the night, but one bad dream popped up in his mind. It was about Newt’s health worsening and WICKED taking him away from Thomas’s bed, Thomas tried to catch Newt but couldn’t, and he couldn’t get out of bed, like he was strapped to it. So he just watched Newt being taken away from him. He couldn’t speak either. Thomas thrashed and tried to scream Newt’s name, but no voice left his mouth. With much effort he manage to scream “NO!”

He woke up with a small gasp for breath. He was lying on his back, looking up. He saw from the level of lighting in the room that the sun was rising. The back wall of the room was all a huge window, so the sunlight bathed the entire room when it came. A half second after Thomas woke up he remembered the dream and looked to the side, afraid of not finding the boy there. He was there, awaken, watching Thomas’s face contemplatively.

“Did I wake you?” Newt whispered. He realized Newt’s hand was on Thomas chest and understood that the boy thought that might’ve cause Thomas to wake up. Thomas relaxed.

“No. I just had a dream,” answered Thomas also whispering. They were the only ones awake.

“What about?”

“It was nothing.”

“You can tell me.”

“It was about losing you,” Thomas said feeling his cheeks go red. Then he saw that Newt’s cheeks were way redder than his. He smiled at that.

“I think about the same,” said Newt. “Losing you. Or not having gained you back, or whatever. You know?”

“I know.”

Newt gave Thomas a kiss on the cheek. Then went back to look at him contemplatively, caressing his face. “I don’t want that to happen, Tommy.”

Thomas gave Newt a kiss on his reddened cheek. “That won’t happen, Newt.” Thomas kissed Newt on the mouth. “That won’t happen.” Another kiss on the mouth. “You’re cured. You’re cured. You’re no longer infected. You’ll stay here, where it’s safe, so you won’t have risks of getting infected again. And we’ll stay together.” Another kiss on the mouth, this time a longer one. Then he positioned his elbow under him to get support, held Newt’s face in both his hands and showered the older boy with kisses. On the cheek, in the nose, on the forehead. Everywhere. Newt broke in a giggle. Thomas was laughing quietly too by the end of it. Then he returned to lie down and they stayed there for a few moments, only looking at each other. Taking in each other’s features.

They just lied down for a while. The sunlight grew stronger in the room. People started to wake up. Time went by and eventually everyone around them was ready to start the day. They asked Thomas and Newt if they weren’t going to get up and get ready. With a mischievous smile they said they would in a minute, maybe they’d get a bit late. Minho laughed at that. Teresa said “Ok, but don’t be _too_ late, okay? Don’t get in trouble!” Thomas assured her they wouldn’t. The big crowd of people, both Gladers and Group B started leaving the room and after a few minutes, Newt and Thomas were alone in the huge dorm.

“Hey, Tommy?” Newt called, breaking the silence. Thomas opened a huge smile. “What?” Newt asked.

“Nothing. I just love how you call me that.”

Newt smiled timidly. “Well, anyway. I just wanted to say… When I was in the Glade, I hated it there. We had a calm enough life, well, the non-runners did, and I became one fast enough. But still… I didn’t like it. I always felt…”

“Alone,” Thomas suggested.

“Yeah…” Newt admitted. “It was really hard, you know, sometimes. Well… you already know what I tried to do. And I wanted to tell you before. When we talked in the treehouse. But I didn’t want to make the conversation depressing, you know.” He laughed sheepishly. “But I wanted to tell you. Before. Not at that moment on the road. Not like that. I’m sorry for that. I’m really sorry.”

“Hey. Hey, it’s okay. It wasn’t your fault. That was the virus speaking. It’s okay. You don’t need to apologize. Really.”

“Well, so, anyway. I tried… that, back in the Glade. But I was happy I failed. Because then I met you. You really changed everything. I’m not talking only about the mess you made in the Glade.”

“Hey!” Thomas faked a punch in Newt’s shoulder.

“But, really, you changed it for me. I felt connected to you straight away. And have been since.”

“I don’t know what to say,” said Thomas.

“You don’t need to say anything. What _I_ want to say is that – I don’t want to scare you, or make you feel pressed or anything. You don’t need to say anything back, but… What I want to say is that… I love you, Tommy.”

Thomas laughed a little.

“What?” Newt asked indignantly.

“You don’t want to _scare_ me? Newt, _I_ didn’t want to scare _you_. I love you, Newt. I friggin’, shucking love you. I’ve thinking about this for… _a while_. I do. You were the reason I didn’t freak out in the Maze. You were there for me. I knew you’d always be there for me. In the Scorch, the thought of reaching that shucking Safe Haven and living in peace, _with you_ , was the only thing giving me strength to go on. When I lost you – or thought I had lost you – it was… Newt you have no idea…” Tears filled Thomas’s eyes. One rolled down.

“Oh, hush, now, it’s okay.” Newt brushed his thumb in Thomas’s cheek, sweeping the tear away. Thomas laid his hand on top of Newt’s.

“When I thought I had lost you, nothing else mattered. I wanted to be gone, too. They told me I needed to die, that that would be the last phase of their analysis to reach the cure. And I didn’t mind it, because it felt like I had already lost everything.”

Newt’s eyes, too, were filled with tears. He smiled, then shrugged. “ _I’m_ scared. Love’s scary.”

“It is,” Thomas agreed.

“But I friggin’, shucking love you, too.”

“Good,” Thomas said smiling happily.

“Good,” Newt agreed. Newt reached for Thomas and kissed him on the mouth. “We should get ready.”

*

They took a quick shower bathroom there was in the dorm, got dressed and went to the cafeteria. Holding hands. Silly smiles on their faces. That kind of smile that you just can’t take off. You try to put on a serious expression but your muscles seem stuck in place. So anyone that sees you notice right away that you’re two lovebirds feeling in heaven.

Their friends noticed, alright. As soon as they walked into the cafeteria, Minho opened a wide smile and said – a little to loudly for Newt’s taste – “Awww!! Look at those two cuties!” Everyone on the table with him – Brenda, Jorge, Teresa, Frypan and Aris – looked at them and smiled.

They went to take their food and went to sit at the table. The table was crowded but it felt nice. Everyone had already eaten, so Thomas and Newt were the only ones eating. Soon they all got up to go to their assigned activities, which happened to be the same for most of them. Only Minho, Thomas and Newt wouldn’t be going to the seminar – which were more and longer now that there were more and more patients to be analyzed. Thomas and Minho would have their private class and would only join the rest in the seminar after lunch; Newt was assigned to have medical check-ups and all that in a different wing.

They met again at lunch, when they had their break from the apparently endless seminar. When they finished lunch and were heading back to the seminar, Newt once again had to be someplace else. Thomas wondered if he wouldn’t have to attend those seminars, too, eventually, or if they would be only for Immunes. Thomas realized then he didn’t know who were Immune and who wasn’t.

Newt didn’t show up for dinner. Thomas tried with all his might not to get too worried. Certainly it had been something simple. Maybe he had had a different schedule and eaten earlier and would be already in bed. Or hadn’t been dismissed yet and would only eat later.

When Thomas went to the dorm, he discovered the first thought to be true. He was slightly ahead of the rest of the group so he was alone when he entered the room and saw Newt in his bed. The older boy got up when he saw Thomas.

“Thomas,” said Newt, “have you seen Lizzy?”

“Who?”

“Lizzy. Have you seen her?” Newt repeated simply.

“I don’t know who that is,” Thomas said. “Wait, who is that? How do you know…” Thomas’s words trailed away. He remembered. There had certainly been a while since Thomas had heard that name. He remembered it now. He understood Newt’s question. And if Newt was asking that question… that meant… “You’ve had the Swipe removed.”

Newt nodded.

It was a strange situation, you couldn’t really know what to say.

“So,” said Thomas. “How do you feel?”

“Weird. But most all, I feel like I have to find my sister.” Newt started to make for the door, but stopped after one step. “Wait. Did something happen to her? Do you know if she’s…” He trailed off.

“She’s fine! She’s here. Oh my god, how have I not remembered that all this time. She’d been sleeping in this dorm with us all the time.”

People started to enter the room. Newt looked avidly at the crowd, searching for his sister. Soon after she entered, talking absently with Harriet and stopped abruptly when she saw him looking at her.

After two seconds of the both of them standing still looking at each other, they ran and hugged strongly.

“I can’t believe it’s you!” Newt said. “I can’t believe you’re really here. After all this time. Lizzy, I can’t believe it.”

“Lizzy?” Harried asked. Thomas was a bit surprised to see that Sonya, too, had a confused look in her face.

“It’s her name,” Newt explained. “Her real name, not the name they gave her. I promised myself I’d never forget your name, Lizzy. I told you I wouldn’t, didn’t I, Thomas?”

Thomas opened his mouth to consent, but realized it wasn’t necessary. Newt was speaking more to himself as he looked intently at his sister’s face, taking it all in, and hugging her.

“That’s my name?” Sonya asked. “The name Mom and Dad gave me?”

“Yeah. I promised myself I wouldn’t forget it. I don’t even know my own bloody name, but I would never forget yours,” Newt said. “Why didn’t you come talk to me earlier? We were so close!”

“I was afraid.”

“Afraid of what?”

“I… I don’t know, you not remembering me. That was scary to think of. I wanted to talk to you, but I didn’t know I could take it if you looked at me and didn’t recognize me, you know?”

“Don’t worry, I recognize you now. And I’ll never forget you again. I promise.”

*

After settling down – and after the curfew hour came, so they had no option other than stay in the dorm – they formed the usual circle on the beds and talked excitedly for hours. This time Sonya – or Lizzy – joined them, sitting in Thomas’s bed, by her brother’s side, who was in the middle of her and Thomas himself. Harriet and Aris came, too, with Sonya and were welcomed. You could sense that the Gladers did want to get more mixed with Group B, but just didn’t know how. Maybe Sonya, Harriet and Aris being there this night would help break the ice between the two groups. As usual, people started going to sleep and there were only Minho, Teresa, Thomas and Newt left awake. Sonya had been one of the first to start feeling sleepy and Newt went to fetch her to bed, even getting into a conversation with some girls that were friends with Sonya for some ten minutes before coming back.

Newt was beaming when he came back. His happiness was so strong it made the whole environment lighter. Thomas caught himself smiling for no reason many times and realized he did have a reason to be smiling. Newt was happy, and so was Thomas.

A while after the last of the others had gone to sleep, Teresa said, “Hey, why don’t we go someplace else?”

Minho’s face lit up instantly, like he just remembered something incredible. “Yeah!” he said. “Why stay chilling here when we can be chilling somewhere forbidden? You know, break some rule just to keep the habit.” They all giggled a little and got up to. Newt at first was a bit confused and was about to ask where they were going, but as they started to turn the first corners he remembered what trajectory that was.

They soon arrived at the cabinet where they used to meet so long ago.

“Wow. Feels different, doesn’t it?” Newt said. “Being here again.”

“Yeah,” they all agreed.

“At last we are here again, all of us…” Teresa said, but she finished the sentence in a strange way. Her voice trailing away.

Newt then had a deep sadness in his face. “Almost all of us,” he said.

Alby.

The boy that screamed leadership. Even as kids, Alby had that leader energy that just made them want to follow his lead.

Newt sat on the floor in a corner of the room and beckoned Thomas to sit by his side. When Thomas did, Newt lay his head on Thomas’s shoulder.

“I miss Alby,” Newt said.

Teresa and Minho sat in front of them forming kind of a small circle.

“I do, too,” Minho said. It was disconcerting to see Minho sad, because he was the one who was always energetic and raising everyone’s spirits.

“I miss Chuck, too,” said Thomas. They all stayed silent for a moment, like they had telepathically agreed to hold a minute of silence in honor of their lost friends.

“I guess this is a way of celebrating them,” Teresa said after the moment of mourning was over. “Meeting here, like the old times. It’s our way of saying that they’re always with us, no matter what. You know?”

“Yeah,” Thomas said. “That’s true. They’ll always be with us, in a way, right?” The others nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, even if the place to remember them is this stinking maintenance room,” Newt said still lying on Thomas’s shoulder. They all laughed.

“Let’s say it’s emblematic. An old stinking cleaning cabinet, to the stinking dirty lives we had in that shuck Maze,” Minho said, his spirits more lifted now. They laughed a bit more. “But hey, we don’t need to remember Alby only _here_. C’mon, let’s go to the balcony.”

Again that sensation of _just_ remembering it. Of course the memory was there, and had always been there, but since the Swipe had been removed, not every detail came to surface at once, obviously. So some things, like that balcony they went to that day, and from where then climbed down out of the compound in the snow one time, took someone mentioning it for Thomas to remember it.

Minho remembered the way, like he had been there just the day before and soon they arrived. It was a really beautiful view. It was still dark, so you couldn’t see the sea, but you could hear it. You could see some trees, though, down the cliff, between the wall of the cliff and the sea. The sky was very starry, which was beautiful. They didn’t climb down, just stayed there at the balcony, watching the view. Sticking close together because of the cold.

“Next time, let’s remember to bring some coats,” Minho said.

They talked for a while more and soon the first rays of morning lit the sky. They didn’t keep track of the time so it was a bit of a surprise to see the sun rise. But was it worth it. The sun rays lighting the sky and allowing them to see the sea was a magnificent view. Thomas looked to the side and saw another magnificent view – Newt. Who gave him a magnificent feeling, being inside his arms. Around Thomas there was a magnificent sensation – of being with his friends.

After the spectacle of sunrise was over, they went back to the dorm to have a nap – that was all there would be time for – before the day’s activities.


End file.
